fucking the ghostbusters legacy

So let me have a quick introductory to me liking the Ghostbusters movie. I'm not head over heels about it. I genuinely enjoyed it but I like a lot of other Akroyd Murray Ramis (who for some reason on imdb is known more for ghostbusters2 than 1) and even Ernie Hudson movies more. I just am of the opinion that whats done is done and rehashing it even with the same actors or musicians is generally a mistake and to let time determine the value. So no, I am not begging for a 3rd movie with the original cast, I've seen what Akroyd did with the Blues Brothers and even John Goodman couldn't save it and as far as I'm concerned he is family to me and I'll support him no matter what crime he commits.

So there is to be a remake apparently. Which is whatever. I saw The Thing remake reluctantly and begrudgingly didn't hate it. So I've done some half assed fanboying because honestly thats what I am when it comes to this franchise. While we are on it I'm ok with discontinuing all franchises but thats not here nor there. So I read that Akroyd sent a script to Murray and he shredded it. Thus building the Bill Murray is the greatest man alive wave which is irresistible to be a part of despite every contrarian bone that covers my cynical heart's resistance.

So it looks like they're really motivated to do it. With a bright young cast of attractive women. Like Alyssa Milano.

stop
the
fucking
presses

Alyssa Milano? is this a FHM top 100 hotties list from 2002(53rd)?
Is this a who have two fat Red Sox pitchers fucked list? She is 40 years old. She is older than Shaq. She is older than Martin Luther King when he was shot. She is older than Jaromir Jagr. She is older than Cat Power?!?!? For her to be cast in this movie with any sort of sincerity two questions have to be asked to Dan Akroyd.

1. Why?
2. How was the bj she obviously gave to even consider her?

Far be it for me to say Alyssa Milano was never attractive, quite the opposite actually. She was a beacon that all women should aim to hit someday. She was the Italian Eva Longoria. She really was one of the best looking humans ever to exist. To say she has hit a wall though, is putting it nicely. Lets do a picture contrast timeline from then and now. And as an aside, let this be a lesson to all women. You will hit a disgusting wall and you should feel awful about it.

her circa 2002:

2004:



2009:

2011:

2015:



Weren't Italian women supposed to age well? She looks like fucking Sally Fields. And its not like her looks can afford to take a hit in place of her acting skills. She's lucky to be famous.


Allow me to sum up her career.

Who's the Boss (1984)- daughter
Commando (1985) - daughter
Double Dragon (1994) - not billy not jimmy
Embrace the Vampire (1995)- girl we know from the nude scene mpgs with the water stamp longer than the actual video that you downloaded off kazaa and not actually seen the movie
TVshows - good looking girl in various story arcs
Made for TV movies - 20 year old lady
That one Blink 182 video - lady
Charmed - the girl that was better looking than Rose Mcgowan but you still didn't want to fuck as much
Made for TV movies - 30 year old lady
Ghostbusters 3 - staple

Alyssa Milano has been in a holding pattern over The Irrelevance Ocean waiting for a clear run way on Obscure Airport next to Neve Campbell, Felicity, Rebecca Gayheart, and Shannon Elizabeth.

Does anyone else see a problem with that? Now whatever maybe she's cast as a background character or whatever. But its December 2011 and she is the first name on the IMDB page and I am prepared to overreact at any moments notice and ramble about nothing unabridged and uninformed.

Moreover this is a plea to just let the franchise die. The fact people want more is a good thing. I don't see anyone crowing for another Austin Powers movie. Once you revisit over and over it becomes tacky and meaningless. Kind of like me hammering good looking women over and over. Except they make money.

Martha Marcy May Marlene

Martha Marcy May Marlene had with out question the best ending I have seen a movie have in the last couple years. Psychological thriller with 0 lulls, a heavy amount of side tit and a thoroughly collapsing ambiguous ending. There is something so attractive about a delusional girl with an ugly past that keeps crushing her life from the inside.

Easily the most disappointing imdb movie board though, people calling the movie self serving and boring. The movie never plateaus, every 5 minutes there is a clue to her past in a flashback or dialogue or she changes personalities. Really thrilling shit.

confessions of a reasonably safe mind

I have a confession. some of the best movies of the year are being released currently and this is when Oscar films are being pushed and i live with in reasonable driving distance of at least 20 theaters that show legit non-major release films that people would line up to see. movies that will be talked about for "best" of the year. and i went out by myself and saw "We Bought a Zoo".

I'm 28.

Anyway Matt is just great in about anything he is slowly becoming my answer for "who should play" over now too old Gary Oldman. Also its not really advantageous of me to tell you that Matt Damon is a good actor its a communal opinion that he is great or at least very very good and people who think otherwise are just fools.

ONWARD!!!!!!!!

I went into the movie wanting to have a good time. and then in the opening credits to my dismay and honest surprise Scarlett Johansson is in the movie. And it no longer became a movie I was trying to enjoy. The movie became my adversary and I officially wasted my 12$ on the ticket, I walked into the movie wanting to be happy and wanted to not think about much. Not like I'm stressed or I am miserable(jk) but since I don't have nostalgia for terrible 80s movies save 10 or so my rainy days are spent watching new movies. In this case one I wanted to like everyone in it. And I was refused entry to the party.

FUCK.

Septic and apoplectic I drudged on with my mind already made up. So we start the movie....and Matt Damon's wife dies. Fuck... already? He buys a house, surprise the house comes with a catch, you'll never guess what. Here is why I can never be taken seriously. At no point did I get into the movie, no fault to the movie, it actually was very pleasant looking, the sun was yellow the landscapes though limited were quite nice and generally I liked everything I took in visually. Until of course her.

this is pretty much what she did to the movie.

Doughy and boring Scarlett eats up the scenes she is in by not fitting in. She is unconnected to who she is in the movie. Its like the Mars Attacks alien dressed as a woman waving around looking at things and NOT STICKING OUT AT ALL. I don't mean to be a dick but Damon has a daughter in this movie who will go on to be better actress than Scarlett. That's not an insult, I'm just convinced whoever the girl is in this movie will win an award(s) in my lifetime.

Thomas Hayden Church and Dakota Fanning's sister are both in this movie as well. There is a sea of talent in this movie surrounding the desert island that is Johansson. They're so good and it really made up for the completely miscast Johansson; that's not just me calling her miscast because I dislike her. She really isn't the character she was supposed to be. She was cast as a girl who's looks aren't the focal part of her character. And that's shallow and all I know but its just what it is. She plays the Zoo worker who is just there. She's the learning curve for Matt and the stability and transition and whatever. She played the cohesion of the movie. And her inadequacy is such a sore thumb that its a discredit to everything I took in.

Now I know people insist she can act, not many, but until it shows up why not have her skip the roles written ideally for talented actresses who don't have to show side tit to not be acceptable for the fucking role? No one forced Yasmine Bleath into roles where she isn't praised and just looked at. If Scarlett is just the girl at the zoo than the zoo is on fucking Mars. We bought a zoo, with Natasha Henstridge. Basically the movie dropped a tuna in the middle of the screen and everyone had to walk around it and pretend it was just part of the carpet.

your average zoo keeper.

Cameron Crowe does nothing for me honestly. I never made it all the way through Almost Famous, no fault to the movie I just was never pulled in enough while its been on cable to finish it. I hated Jerry McGuire and Vanilla Sky and I honestly thought Tom Cruise was great in both of those movies. He should just be a music director for a film because he picks good soundtracks, but even then you can just google "safe classic rock songs" and you can fill it in just as well as he does. This will probably be written down as my favorite Cameron Crowe movie. But with no real second place its kind of like my favorite Duncan Jones movies. First place would be Moon, and I haven't seen Source Code, so.......

this wasn't a really funny review. but whatever.

also a girl I know has a facebook status of this....
"College is not for me. I need to travel the world and help the less fortunate. That's a better learning experience than spending thousands to learn stuff you can read about online."

Slider underrated character. I think he had the real malice for Goose and Maverick.Above average volleyball player. Iceman cost them the game really and Top Gun

remember that stupid long winded seasonal breakdown of a cable show?
homeland is going through that exact same arch right now. to the tee actually

dark knight 2 trailer leaked and here are a couple spoilers:


- its 90 minutes of actual story spread out over 3 hours
- the antagonists in the movie will be antiquated silly gimmicks
- the series will not be wrapped up
- it will take itself WAY too seriously
- Bane will look like Christina Hendricks tits wearing scuba equipment


I'm so unenthused with this franchise. I thoroughly liked the first one and I still don't get why they're going to make a 3rd of the same thing.

Boardwalk EHmpire is the new SoprEHnos.

Can anyone explain to me why anyone watches the 3rd and 4th show before the season finale of any show anymore? the best shows going all have miss episodes and i understand for me to demand constant perfection when i do nothing even close to acceptable is disgusting, but fuck this.


The system is becoming clockwork and I'm starting to think every show is the same. Heres a 10 episode show sample format..
1. Loose eneds from first season and 1st episode back unfortunately for me the cliffhanger from previous season is usually marginalized because the writers have a whole pile of new ideas they think are more important then what they did 18 months ago so its kind of downplayed by new revelations. Eventually the platform for the next 9 episodes is discovered. But not really to any depth other than a general theme, usually this episode contains more of a dramatic turn of events in the characters then anything you'd like to see addressed from the season before ie: questions cliff hangers.


2nd episode = set up for the remainder season this is almost always skip-able, everything of consequence you is either used later in the season or in the first episode to grab you. If this was a trip, this would be the gathering of supplies packing and pumping of gas before the journey. Its the night before you go to the airport.

3-7 Groundwork: this is where you are now and from week to week somethings will happen but don't worry, we know you don't watch a show to see someone get killed in the middle of a season, we're not the wire. various questions will be asked, few answered, those are saved (or just ignored if this the sopranos) 1 of these around 4,5,6 will be complete building block episode and hopefully the writers will include some sort of story arch there otherwise you're just watching a child play with legos for an hour or sometimes god forbid an hour with commercials.


8 Structure: Completely fucking unwatchable. it is 100% the lets reorganize the questions that will be answered in the season finale or the season premier next year, and provide back story and structure that is necessary to do this. i don't hate these episodes, unless it was like tonight's Boardwalk Empire(which i am all but fucking done with). its the infrastructure of a climactic setting, its nice, but no one wants to see people mow the lawn that the world series game 7 is about to be played on. I understand it has to happen, but why not do a little bit more episodes 3-7, some shows can do that like The Wire, but then again some can't like The Sopranos. No one wants to make and bake the fucking bread just eat it.

9 Build up: This is the heavy petting and bj of the series. this really is just the car chase/lead henchmen fight of a movie.


Its usually the best part of the movie/sex too but ignore that, i'm just using it as a poor comparison that i can't be bothered to change right now and really i want an excuse to post a picture of Prince Goro. Who by the way would be fucking raped by Motaro in that fight. Motaro is harder to beat than a korean in StarCraft. Hardest underboss/boss/character ever, at least for me in the 7 fighter games i played and the 4 i can remember.

10. The climax this is what the writers thought of first and everything has been reverse engineered since. Its usually the best part of a show and rarely disappoints (unless its the sopranos). The one thing I hate about this episode is there is some pressure from execs to keep the audience for the next season and sometimes is laden with unneeded questions and cliffhangers, as if the people who run the network are scared people will forget about things and its really upsetting, 1 because it hamstrings writers and 2 it probably is nothing like that and I am just guessing.

at this point i'm so tired of boardwalk that i don't know what to do. i know 6 characters.
1 nucky
2 those 3 other guys that look the same one is a cop one is not a cop and the other who is not a cop.
3 that weird lipped girl that shows her tits who i'd post an obligatory picture of if i could find ONE that is safe for work
4 the other lady that doesn't
5 good looking Al Capone who's presence in the show is completely distracting
6 the various nobodies
8 omar
7 all the other women who get naked

I swear the writers of this show know when its dragging and just throws a pile of tits on screen to distract from the show needing more cohesion down time than the fucking sopranos or if someone tried to do the natural transition movie from Tom Cruise's characters in Cocktail to Minority Report, where cruise gives up being a trick pour bartender in nightclubs in a happy and battle tested relationship with Elizabeth Shue (who is fucking slumming, rich dude's daughter with a future falls in love with a guy who spins bottles?) and decides to become a future crimey detective who uses oracles to determine crimes before they start. which would be a fucking lot. I love the idea of the show, and i and i guess it would be fine if i was 45 and had a wife and kids. but seriously what is going on? When nucky decided to go on the get whiskey trip i rolled my eyes. its like when a sitcom does a road story just to get a refresh of the characters outside of their standard setting, why?



and i know i can't judge the show by this but having the jerky guy from finding forester and henry from the story arch with Jen when he was the on dawson's creek, ps when is his character supposed to come back from football camp? no? write him off? fuck it? fine. I haven't seen someone be so lazy to write a character off like that since...the sopranos.


Soprano's had what Public Enemies had, the perfect setting plot characters and story, and just dog fucked it. The people who loved the show loved it because of the concept of what the show could've been, a mob story, an episodic Godfather crime drama. They hated what it really was, a messy, convoluted, poorly paced soap opera about a man and his psychiatrist and his boring relationship with his family NO ONE cares about. For every great episode there are 4 where nothing anyone remembers anything about.

So in a way HBO got what it wanted, the logical heir to the throne that The Sopranos gave up when it went away, just not where it wanted, its not the most popular and best show on tv, Breaking Bad is. Its just the most frustrating and overrated.

In Die Another Day there is a scene with an invisible car. How did they let this series continue? James Bond movies sucked from the 70s until 2005.

i understand i am not brave. but whoever is holding this watermelon wedge is a fucking test pilot.

god bats are atrocious animals (and plots for superhero movie sequels)

Credibility. I has none. I will not review J Edgar because of how much I love Clint Eastwood. Leo needs to be done with biopics. I love you Clint and I'm sorry.

someone please name me a movie where harrison ford's role couldn't easily be filled by sam shepard, alec baldwin or michael douglas and the movie would seriously suffer or even miss a step?

so... who is tired of the directors of walking dead trying to confuse character depth with them not cutting away from a scene and just showing someone holding a stupid face?





they try and make the show seem like there is something going on by just stalling on a person's face for another 2 seconds rather than actually have them do or say anything to identify them from the people around them

when the walking dead injures the child and they don't kill him off and use the incident to just kill time, its just lazy. by the end of the season the kid will be fine and the story will move along like nothing happened.

...really its just harvesting emotions from the audience without having to put the pressure on the storyline to actually have something happen.


fuck this show.

“…I sympathise with people who didn’t like the MacGuffin because I never liked the MacGuffin. George and I had big arguments about the MacGuffin. I didn’t want these things to be either aliens or inter-dimensional beings. But I am loyal to my best friend. When he writes a story he believes in - even if I don’t believe in it - I’m going to shoot the movie the way George envisaged it. I’ll add my own touches, I’ll bring my own cast in, I’ll shoot the way I want to shoot it, but I will always defer to George as the storyteller of the Indy series. I will never fight him on that.”


-Speilberg


you know what dude? fuck you
you suck too
and your best friend is a hack

i don't even care about shitty star wars but indy4 really was horse shit that no one needed to have made.

i'm not sure i get the sell of the new sherlock holmes movie.

if i wanted to see downey jr just be charming and likable i could just watch him in anything
english iron man with no suit really is not as appealing as you'd think

the walking meh'd

The Walking Dead is such a great well written show I've watched 8 minutes of the second season premier and I've decided I don't have to watch the first season.

It's ok and all I guess if this is your thing, but honestly, its just a 90 minute typical zombie movie just with the middle hour of it lasting 9 hours.

I guess I just don't like horror movies unless they're suspenseful and done really well. Not that this isn't done well because I've watched 12 minutes now and I can't really destroy the whole series just to do it. But I mean... Its just a fucking zombie with plots and points borrowed from every zombie movie.

the kid
the stranger with the past
can we fix them
is there a place with cure
is there a nonzombie city


this show is ok if you skip through the really piss poor back story and tension between the shallow as fuck characters. just skip to the suspense. but then again i'm sure you could say the same thing about any shitty action movie.

all these plots have been done before. no one has any responsibility with this show to do anything new. amc is a million times better than this, they just went for a niche audience and they got it because people who are childish enough to like zombie stories will literally like anything just because its a zombie story.

just without tits.
at least Zombieland was funny, for parts.

Its not George Lucas' fault you're a fucking child with money.

As little credit as i give Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter. I will say this, at least they're better than Star Wars.

Star Wars really is the work of a master, a master sheep shearer. He re-releases the same shit to the masses and they suck it up. Now before you roll your eyes that this is just another George Lucas is a piece of shit piece, relax, it isn't. George Lucas gives his fanbase exactly what they want. He delivers consistently to their demands. Blue Ray, New runs in the theaters, new movies, animations, none of these ventures are struggling. Its not like George Lucas put StarWars in any venture that his fans didn't suck up like the vacuums of mediocrity they wait overnight to be. They race to buy this guy another billion dollar mansion fully knowing he is a no longer an artist and just an industry. All because he sold them a story when they were young enough to not realize its contrite and just fantastical nonsense. People hate the guy but yet line up to suck his dried cum out of his underwear because he is their monolith they fucking resent bowing to.

What do you call a king who's subjects hate him but yet push their tributes to him every time he asks for it?



king.

I never got into Star Wars as a kid, I was too busy getting laid at 7 and dunking basketballs on a full size hoop to even watch the shit. I don't have the nostalgia for it. When people tell me the first the 3 movies were great and the last 3 weren't I get a headache. They were the same cow different tit. They are not well put together movies, there is no perspective, no real impact on anything, its just a made up world that he couldn't connect anyone to. Is it easy to paint a sunset that no one saw but you or one a million people see everyday? He made up a fantasy world borrowed a storyline, filmed it poorly, sold it well. And all the power to him he hit a home run. I wasn't around for the first run of Star Wars and my dad isn't a jerk off who would watch it when it was on tv and I never had a socially retarded cousin or uncle to try and get me to watch them when I was younger so I probably missed the wheelhouse where this could've got into my dna the way xmen, ninja turtles, and tits did when I was of an impressionable age. I was talking to a friend of mine today who said he liked the movies, I asked him when he saw them first. "12". Not to act like I'm better than anyone, whatever I was watching when I was a kid I still probably would fight someone over for knocking it. Jurassic Park, Pulp Fiction and Tommy Boy are my Star Wars I guess.

The first Star Wars movie I saw was the second of the new series, and I was bored to tears. I thought wow this is an injustice, until I saw the first 3, then I realized that Lucas isn't a hack, it was right on target with its predecessors. Did you guys know people who grew up on the later 3 love them? Seriously, there are people who love Darth Tacobell Collectors Cup or whatever the Mortal Kombat looking guy is. There are people who like CGI Yoda and Samuel L Jedi. I'm dead serious look at the Imdb boards. Its full of 20 somethings who love those movies arguing with 30 somethings about the movies being good. Its like watching republicans and democrats argue about which of their parties is right when they're both just fuckheads. The 30 year-olds have the more valid point but its just that the first 3 came out while all their fans were 12 and now that they're all in their 30s they're thinking what the fuck these are kids movies. But they're fucking wrong.

The first 3 were for fucking kids too. The first ones had fucking gummy bears. people compare the robots as Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. Which is a stretch. At best they're a fucking dogshit interlude in a horseshit movie. People act like Bobba Fet is a bad ass.


PLUS



does not add up to a fucking bad ass. He never talked or did anything really other than trick Indiana Jones into some trap and narc him the fuck out. So congrats guys on looking up to a stooge you pussies and while we're fucking here; Lucas gets creamed for not giving his loser fans what they want. But then during the shit sequels he offers up a back story to the fucking background character just because a niche fan base latched onto him like he's some cool obscure character and they still say its not enough. What did you twats want? Another cantina scene with a bunch of fucking puppets playing music?

Also people are mad that he is re-editing the movies and fucking up classics. Yet these are the same pieces of shit who shell out 100$ for the blue ray set to begin with. If you don't like things being changed then don't support it. I'm not going to see the new version of The Thing. I missed the black Honeymooners. I shan't be seeing the Point Break remake, or Taking of Pellham 123 or Midnight Cowboy, or Straw Dogs because if I want to see those movies I'll just watch the originals. Star Wars fans contribute to the comic books and remakes world that is film these days.

The great Director of The French Connection William Friedkin recently said "It's harder and harder to do (original adult material) in this climate of American film... which is mostly concerned with movies that are comic books, and remakes"

well no fucking shit willy, its because people are lining up to reissue Lucas and Dreamworks another 10 figures just so they can complain on message boards that their great pieces of art didn't need to be changed. And its all because of fucking fanboys clinging to their childhood, Scott Pilgrim made less money than the Green Lantern. Now like Scott Pilgrim or not at least it was different, at least it was something. Even when Hollywood lets a clever adaptation of a previous work slip out the fan boys aren't there to pick it up and give it any credit for it being anything.

so whatever.
get ready for Jurassic Park 4 and then the 5 dvd set.

hey scarlett i saw your tits



u mad?
i think u mad

i watched star wars for the first time this summer, and the first 3 movies were just as fucking stupid as the last 3. the only difference was nostalgia helps people think the first 3 aren't stupid. when in reality, its one big episode of sesame street.

The tribes of Neurot fusion companion fusion releases you play at the same time as the Neurosis albums really ruin the Neurosis experience; Almost as much as their fans, touring frequency, Scott Kelly's blog and his interviews ruin the neurosis experience. Borders on mallgoth.

\

this is all i care about

A hulks Prayer. Gamma. Give me the strength to throw cars and smash helicopters the wisdom to be both good and evil and the rage to not to know the difference.

i can not express how upset i would fucking be if i paid 200$ to see taylor swift and justin bieber came out and sang his horse shit pop garbage. i am there to see the tender songwriting and singing of t-swiftz

I guess my mind would be more blown by Adele if I never knew Sade existed.

i can't believe anna paquin's tits aren't enough to get me to watch true blood.

softcore for twilight fans is just too fucking much at times, i watch every hbo show and this is worse than entourage.

being a child

i had this really funny dream where i was basically shawn michaels.
i kicked at least 12 different people in the face.

Every single time it happened it was new to me. it was like 12 different surprise parties with 12 different fun themes i would enjoy. first party was dinosaurs second party sharks, ninja turtles, Brazilian women, all the way down and so on.



I kicked my neighbor who I honestly haven't thought of for 3 years in the face right off a cliff. I'm typing this self serving piece of shit not because I want to brag about what a moron I am. But because the dream made me so happy and it was so fun I wish I could commit it to you in all seriousness the delight it brought me. This dream happened like a month ago now and its still fresh for me. I've been in a girls stupid pussy since this dream happened and if I had a chance to revisit either feeling it would be the dream.

I kicked a fucking child off an innertube. I think I was on a beach and the child was in water and I hate to admit I have a personal relationship with this child and it is a family member and though I shan't divulge which child this was I can honestly say she 100% didn't deserve it.

I wish all my dreams were this real. I wish my real life dreams would feel this fulfilling if I pulled them off. I bet this is what it would feel like if I ever accomplished or cared about any sort of goal. I guess thats apathetic/nihilistic whatever but if you really look at it its envious of assaulting people while wearing boots. Thats something I remember vividly. The feeling of how heavy my boots were when I was doing this. The force of contact felt like I was kicking a stick of celery. It thoroughly was blissful from every moment. The wind up crow hop when I get ready for the kick motion. The connection is understood and theres no need to get into this. I'm not a masochist and I haven't been in a fight for years but I really am serious theres nothing funnier than kicking people in the face to me. Its high comedy.




By the way if you accidently go to the adult entertainer "Sean Michaels" website you see a giant black dick with no warning. I feel like there should be some sort of disclaimer about. That, allthough interracial pr0n and wrestling are like two of my favorite things and I could never be disappointed with one or the other.

is there anything harder to do than rallying yourself to bash things that people like when you really can't put a finger on why they weren't good?


i'm trying guys

but t2 sucked

half baked post

watching half baked right now and i think X things

1 jim breuer is much much funnier than this

2 i think this is the movie that talked me out of seeing any episodes of the chappele show

3 oh hey look, the black girl from the craft was in another movie before she fell off the face of the earth

4 if i smoked weed i couldn't imagine this movie being funny

5 everyone in 8th grade who insisted this movie was hilarious owes me an apology

6 if 311 played faster they'd be the deftones

7 laura silverman is hotter and probably funnier than sarah.

8 amy winehouse has a great voice and thats enough for me to like her, does anyone know what songs she did that are good? i don't want to just rush in blind

Cowboys and shit and no connection to characters and plot holes and realizing that Harrison Ford is a shitbum and why is Sam Rockwell in this movie and Aliens

i'm sorry

why does anyone give a shit about this movie?

I wish the Discovery channel had 51 weeks of sharks and one week of ice fishers and motorcycle builders.

Ok we're all adults here. Is it ok to admit I feel like the social network purposely shook it's audience in the first 10 mins just to do it?

Yul Brynner and horses.

I honestly can't stop thinking about Yul Brynner's brow line. ever see someone who was just made to play a villain? how was he ever a hero in Magnificent Seven and Westworld. He was so good as the heel in The Ten Commandments. Also his torso was incredibly large but not totally out of shape. Its an old gag to do the 1950s and 60s actors were in horrible half shape in every movie but were still sold as in shape. But there is just something so captivating about his torso. Jesus.


such a casual pose for a fucking pharaoh.

look at his brow, throw patrick stewart in the fucking trash.

before you make a joke this is the most hetero pose a russian man has ever made

Brenner is so overlooked by my generation, he's like a horse. We owe so much to the horse, as a society and planet. The infrastructure the travel, the shortening of the world, the exploration, the lives saved, the fucking world would never have happened since horses. and since we got cars we invest nothing in them but to rape their genetics so people who own tobacco companies can race them. Horses built society and we still can't figure out how to have them survive a broken leg or really exist without nailing fucking metal to their feet. Mankind is Jennifer Love Hewitt in Can't Hardly Wait with out the realization and horses are...that other guy who wasn't Mike Dexter.

Yul Brynner was a horse and now people tell me that Brad Pitt is a ferarri. Well excuse me but I'd rather ride a horsNO YOU'RE GAY

also how fucking racist was hollywood where a russian was playing an oriental and an egyptian in a single fucking year? Thats almost as impressive as Ava Divine appearing in both asian and latin pornos.

I believe it was Nietzsche who said "for every man there exists a bait which he cannot resist swallowing". And that bait. Is the wolf tee shirt.

You show me two men arguing over which middle earth city could've distended the larger Orc attack. I will show you a pending wolf shirt sale.
Halloween gentlemen is a MYTH! We do our biggest business at gem stone conventions.
Wolves are a noble animal. Often if not always found perched atop rocky inclines. Howling exclusively at full moons.

baying at the waning gibbus

itsrainingdocuMENtaries

page one


documentary about the new york times

I guess if I liked the times or newspapers or printed things I'd be more interested in it. But I mean the movie was supposed to appeal to an audience watching it not reading it in a fucking newspaper, i don't even know if those still exist.

It was just basically a praise piece saying newspapers are dying and its our fault not theirs. They also told me how great New York is and tried to make me feel bad for not caring about it.

They had a big part on them breaking the wikileaks stuff. Which would probably be interesting if I watched current events. but I don't. So it was like someone telling me about milking cobras, i have no idea if what the person is telling me is true or not. So i basically watched 90 minutes fly over my head and felt nothing for anything.

watching bridemaids for some reason.

If guys were making these jokes no one would think it would be funny.

Watching Game of Thrones. Don't you think two incestual plot twists in the first episode is at best kind of unnecessary?

I mean one would've been like "oh wow" but by te time the second one happened I was just kind of annoyed by it.
I'm trying to like this show, it's basically one big tv show based on Primordial lyrics. But at the same time there's just so much keeping me from really liking it.

1 show in
2 evil blonde manipulative men being the bad guy
2 arranged marriages
2 secretive messages delivered by a rider at night
2 incest brother sister creepy shitstories
2 beheadings
8 different sets of tits.

0 real explanation of anything. But it's one episode maybe it'll get it together

TNT needs more shows about cops
USA needs more shows about secret operatives.

Tearing down a tower amongst fan boys.

Batman begins 2 dark knight city starts out with a really gritty kind of serious movie that i guess i took seriously. It was kind of deep with character growth and consequences that effected the plot line. I actually forgot it was a stupid movie about a jerk off in a cape. 

and then the final 40 minutes happen. 

It didn't need the 40 minutes. 

It didnt need Zeus being a selfless nameless convict who rejects the notion of taking a life and throwing a detonator out of a window. 

it didn't need a boat operator reasoning with an unruly crowd of regular people on a ferry dealing with their pending death and calming them down like there is any reason he would be poignant and well spoken he drives a fucking ferry. 

 It didn't need a fucking made up sonar computer tracker voice recognition tracer showing resonating images. 

Didn't need Harvey Dent being a bad guy for 20 minutes and then being killed. 

It didnt need a remote mine launching gun with sniper rifle accuracy

It didn't need the joker dressed as a nurse. 

Didn't need batman fighting the cops just to keep them from getting shot. When a "hold up bro" would've done. 

It was a pretty good movie that had so much extra. Whoever edited the movie should issue an apology. 

Looking back at the whole thing. Can anyone explain why batman was able to karate chop a hole in the side of the van? 

Why kill Gary Oldman just to bring him back? 

Why the fuck are you loud whispering with a fake stupid voice?

Why make another fucking movie about batman? 

trailer park pt 2

OK

I honestly challenge any of you to find me a trailer of a movie I want to see less or have less of a problem of the movie even being made than this one.




take your time.

because this movie is fucking exhausting to even see a 90 second summary of.

and if any of you can explain to me why this man is allowed to make movies any more OR how he can sleep at night please don't hesitate to call me on my cell phone to explain it.

fuck pile

I can safely say with out a hint of irony that Tree of Life was in NO way better than Fast and The Furious Five.


Can I sue Terrence Malick for having Penn and Pitt in the same movie and creating a pile of fucking rubbish? Fucking guy is from Illinois and directs movies like he's from a Teutonic country.

Discovery Channel NON-PLANET LIFE documentaries have much higher quality cinematography and settings, when the movie is billed as awe inspiring and a visual treat it has to at least be significantly better than a youtube video.

I mean The New World was such a brick that I'm shocked they let this guy direct a fucking Geico commercial let alone a major motion picture with elite talent. Who has the money to put up for this horse shit? Who was pitched "we wanna show a movie of slow landscape pans complete with Sean Penn whispering in the background incoherence about his mother"

The fact this movie is getting positive reviews just shows how desperate people are to not just see a typical movie, the problem is this is untypical in the way its untypical to get syrup inside your urethra. Its odd, rarely happens, doesn't mean when it happens it should be celebrated.

I will say Sean Penn was great in this movie in a role where he maybe said 4 minutes of actual dialogue. He's such a good actor that I'm surprised that when he met Scarlet Johansson that the world didn't bend from two polar opposites of the spectrum meeting each other. It was like bleach being poured into crude oil. I'm not sure what the fuck happened but I know it was unpalatable.



I can honestly say the trailer really only shows passing glimpses at the characters with no explanation of their actions and no dialogue of consequence or any real description of plot or even any spoken words and it basically gives the entire movie away. This movie may set the all time record for frolicking.

Brad Pitt is on such a fucking cold streak I'm starting to wonder if he was even a good actor to begin with or just handsome and competent enough for me to watch his movies accordingly. 127 hours was a far better visual movie and it wasn't billed strictly as one. The Fountain is another movie that was untypical and had a lot of non-spoken emotions and visualizations and at no point while watching it did I fucking pull out my phone to look at box scores of baseball games I didn't care about.

I texted my boss to ask him "whats up?" during this movie.

Terrence Malick my balls.

the Green Lantern trailer... live action movie where the hero villains and much of the settings are all cgi. Why not just make an animated movie?

Domino: the story of a woman out of place in the men dominated world of bountyhunting where she works and eventually gains acceptance as an equal. Via lapdance.

Movie idea. Walden drops out of society moves to the pond to write in seclusion. Learns how to throw boomerang. Joins mercenary team. Stops civil war.

trailer park trash

matrix bullet time
matrix reverse duck
stupid forced fake 3d
multi-racial Conan
lord of the rings lookingy backdrop foggy mountains
braveheart different army charge

"no man shall live in chains" what does that even mean? did he just dis slaves?

what is this?
why?
the first one wasn't even that good

When filming Wanted Angelina Jolie says she based her role on Clint Eastwood. Someone should make a blog about hating this shit fuck

remember when everyone talked about how attractive chrissy hynde from the pretenders was? well she looks like hammered shit now

fuck your feelings

The daughter in #taken is just the most hilarious actress maybe ever. She runs like a ostrich and is wearing a denim bedazzled jacket

x-meh

a real quick one because its agonizing when the two longer column opinion thingies whatevers I've written in the last 2 weeks have been about comic book movies but I saw the new X-men movie and it was definitely a movie. Anyways they had a cameo of Wolverine in the movie and he tells Charles and Eric to "go fuck yourselves" and I was in the theater enjoying the movie when I thought to myself:

Why is wolverine allowed to be wolverine in this movie and Hugh Jackman in others? He is horrendous in the Wolverine movie and then in this movie in 8 seconds they actually get the character that Wolverine should be and would be if Hugh Jackman wasn't producing the movies. Hugh got the rights to make the movie and just made a sappy bad convoluted movie with random characters in a slapdash story line where like in every movie with a huge let down of a failure, the voiceless nemesis of the entire movie was introduced 20 seconds before the final confusing fight scene, after a bad twist that came 10 minutes after another bad twist.

When you make a movie building up on a villain and a dead wife murdered and in the final 10 minutes of the movie you reveal that the wife wasn't dead and the murderer of the wife really was a good guy just before a big fight with laser beam eyed ninjas you have successfully fucked a movie up in such a silly way that i assume that instead of cum you had to have shot fish heads out of a dick wearing pilot goggles.

A big mistake I made was I forgot that Hugh Jackman COULD play Wolverine, He just hasn't gotten the chance. Part his fault, part FOX, part the over praised Bryan Singer, part writers, part a million other things NO ONE including me should give a shit about. My lack of seeing movies like The Fountain and The Prestige allowed me to forget that Hugh Jackman is a good actor and I can't believe it based on only seeing him in the X-men movies, and of course...Swordfish. A movie that was so gay that it will be in the next real world cast saying "picked to live in a houthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh".




As for the movie.

If you're like me and you loved the first class comics well throw that all away, and any Xmen knowledge, or any reference in the first 3 movies where Xavier says Scott and Jean were his first students. But unlike other fanmen I'm not upset about it, its a movie, if I wanted the comic I'd read the comic.

It was a really good cast aside from January Jones outside of her tits. It was ok, and widescreen, I suggest sitting in the back, I don't know who shot this fucking thing but he got every inch out of the screen. Fuck it. January Jones keeps the streak alive of Mad Men characters completely sucking in movie roles. I realize saying January Jones wasn't a good actress in _______ is about as shocking as Hugh Jackman liking dry humping and rubbing 5 o'clock shadows.



But between Sterling, Jones and Draper these guys are becoming the ER and NYPD blue of the 2010s. When it comes to striking out in big screen roles. I hold judgement for Christina Hendricks because I feel like she's good enough of an actress where she can suspend the audience's belief in any sort of a storyliAHHAHAHAHAHA TITS.nice dress dick

This is skewing obscure but Diane Lane's nipples are hard the entire second half of the horrible movie Killshot. Horrible movie.

was there a reason no one talks about how good Charlie Wilson's War was? is it because it had no ending? Phillip Seymour Hoffman was TREMENDO in it.

I mean the movie had fucking Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts how did no one see this party?

lets build a house

lets make up a t.v. show just to do it. even though this is the beginning of me expressing heartbreak over a casting job by a producer lets just do it...

i love writers, so i'll start here and i love to write but all i can do is write cynical horse shit and since cynicism is intellectual treason then you know i suck and i'm only good at tearing houses down not building one. So lets look at how nice this house could be. David Milch wrote the best two shows HBO never should've cancelled in Deadwood and John From Cincinnati. So you have a fantastic writer and a cable network that owes this director a big favor after two short sighted fuck ups that I pray to god they know they should take back.

Add to that a top 10 all time actor in Dustin Hoffman and fantastic character actors like the Jewish guy from Snatch, one of the presidential advisers from Dave, The big brother from Summer Catch(fuck you I liked it), Larry David's douchey unfunny cousin who's wife made the hats, Nick fucking Nolte (although his character being known as "The Old Man" is fucking perilous at best). The lead is a relatively unknown guy playing a who gives a shit at a race track.

It seems I'm just listing things here so I'll get back to the story. The story is around horse racing and even though that has no bearing on anyone's life who's family didn't directly benefit from slave labor it is a dramatically unknown subculture of America that no one has written anything about other than an underdog story about a horse no one believed in.

So everything seems lined up right? Well hold on right where you are because low and behold Micheal Mann is involved. Micheal Mann has fucked up so many great houses that other better humans have built and he at this point to me in my life owes me an apology for Wanted. A great collection of actors characters story and idea for a movie that he dog fucked. Micheal Mann has had a list of travesties that only enrages me and when compared to Wanted the only bigger sin than when he let Al Pacino play the Los Angeles Police Detective like a fucking carnival barker from fucking New Orleans.

Anyways Luck could be a great show, or it could suck because Michael Mann is a set of fucking tits.

fuck it.


horses.

Hangover 1 and 2 review.

3 unlikable douche bags and a handcuffed comedian who is only limited by the script go to _____________. They wake up from a heavy night of drinking and things are not as they'd like as ________ is missing. They proceed to go through out ___ running into Mike Tyson, an asian man, law enforcement and as a surprise, whores.

TITS!!!

The storyline itself becomes less important as all you really want is more debauchery but the movie for some reason won't go full out and limits enjoyment because the producers DEMAND redemption from the characters. So in effect the writers have figured out how to make a plot line characters and story arch somehow become less important than people waiting for the next joke.

Final 20 minutes of the movie involves the characters finally finding _______ and ironically finding it not far from where they whence started. At the end they find a _________ and look through the pictures, which is the funniest part of the movie thus burying the lead.

All in all you some what enjoy the movie, but really you're left wanting more, and not more of the movie, more from the movie. Which is not a good thing because its not an art/conversation topic.

Shout

In 1950's Texas, a visionary music teacher introduces his wayward students to the liberating beat of rock n' roll.





Starring John Travolta.

Thor more like bore.....no it was ok.

So I made 2 mistakes. I went to Thor with a girl who for some reason or another didn't spend her life reading comments and books about Viking culture. And I decided to go to Thor 3d.

Thor was not a 3d film it turns out. Just a movie they made and decided in hindsight to throw some 3d parts into it to capitalize on the 3d craze which at this point isn't a craze and to call it a craze still is like continuing to call Clive Owen a hollywood star or Jules Asner a television personality. At one point I decided the Risky Business glasses weren't worth the hassle of marveling over a close up of a hammer.

Ok moving onto casting, I honestly have 0 problems with it. The guy who played Thor looked like Thor and was charming when he needed to be and handsome and was an Aryan poster boy for Hitler. Tall and incredibly handsome and a good enough actor. I don't know much about him, I assume him to be Australian. He was a great Thor, I have no complaints especially when you read that Thor could have been Triple H from the WWE.

Portman was whatever it sucks seeing how high she can fly in great movies and then see her settle down in a comic book movie. Kind of like RDjr, Jeff Bridges, Don Cheadle and Sam Rockwell all be whatever in Iron Man. Which is fine for me because I'm a fan-man(no longer a boy) and I want comic movies. But really is a disservice to their talents careers and a chance to make a great movie rather than a comic book remake. It's over kill it's like dumping a hurricane on a brush fire. If you took those great actors and a studio behind them committing money to a great original script with a strong director you could have a masterpiece instead of a happy meal toy. But again, I just want comic book movies so suck the side of my dick.

By the way Mickey Rourke has officially paid Arinofsky back the same way Travolta paid back Tarantino for resurrecting his career. By being in shot movie after shit movie after shit movie until hes just box office poison again. Straight to DVD all over again, makes me think Christopher Nolan should give JCVD a chance in a movie. If for no other reason then I'd love to see him be given a bigger bankroll to produce movies where he is the hero for the sole purpose of fucking the female cast. Which he does. And it's kind of hilarious.

Now in the comics obviously these characters are different but I'm not one of those assholes who thinks the movies should mirror the comics in storyline. I mean streamlining a story line for 100 minutes has to happen, Spider Man gets bit on a field trip to save time between establishing him as a nerd and his transformation, Iron Man comes up with the suit in a month while in a jail cell to get the villain in line and the plot set up, Wolverine is a fruity unintimidating douche bag in the Xmen movies and so on.

Portman was adequate. I've noticed the PG13 never spreads to the females anymore in comic movies. No more bottom to top scroll over the body to take in the attractiveness of the lady scene anymore I understand it's a kid movie and side titty is out of the question and a but still... Thor is supposed to fall in love with this broad in 48 minutes of real time movie, how is this happening when you don't establish her as more than just a meteorologist. I'm scraping the bottom of the bowl for this one. I just think Portman is wildly attractive and her in a vest boots and cargo pants is like drinking Blue Label from a coffee mug. I want to see her tits, fuck you.

Loki was... Surprisingly good. Not Who knew Culkin had it in him.




Anthony Hopkins continues to prove that Silence of the Lambs was a fluke and he can really only play one role besides Lecter and that's wise well-to-do older man who maybe has become too stubborn and not open to new ideas. I also feel like the movie did a bit of a bad job telling you that Odin is supposed to have god-strength. Maybe they didn't want to over play the whole Norse god thing when they're selling it to the Midwest and bible belt. Hard to sell a hero who negates the thing they live their lives for/give 10% of their income away for. No not Chic-Fil-A.

Back to equal opportunity Thor. Asian Viking god. Black Viking god. I'm not upset about it but the only thing missing was the Hispanic cross gender Viking god in a wheelchair. the Asian Viking talking like Tony Ja was certainly off putting too. And having Stringer Bell play a Viking is really shocking.



Especially when he's playing Heimdell. Who's role in the movie and in Viking religion is kind of skewed same with his role in comics and this movie. But whatever, I like Idris Elba a lot and it was nice to see him in a movie where he didn't have an unlit cigar and a suit on. The whole movie I was expecting Loki to be paid a visit by Brother Mouzone or Avon Barksdale and Slim Charles to drive by in a Ford Excursion blasting Ludacris drive by style. For those of you who don't get these references RUN do not walk to queue up The Wire on Netflix DVD. Unlike some Thor purists I don't really care about a black norse god, and if you do have a problem with it maybe you should grow up its a fucking kids movie about a fucking kids comic book loosely based on a made up religion that was told to fucking kids.

I wish the ice giants were actually giant sized and not just Carmello Anthony sized. I mean they were tall but to call them giants would be like calling Indiana Jones 4 a "slight disappointment given the anticipation".

I never like movies where one of the bigger enemies is a robot and the faceless Destroyer was kind of just "eh". It's just a drone sent by the guy we actually want to see do damage, In fighting it it's just what it is. Your hero vs a suit of armor that has no perception of events. The climax of Iron Man 2 was awful. 2 robots vs 15 robots. And all the robots looked the same. I need an enemy to have purpose and perception not programming and binary. The exception being Terminator. Then it was scary. Now its just time consuming and boring. The Destroyer isn't a robot but he's close enough.

Loki did a good job of being unlikable. Tricked Thor, ruined his coronation was going to kill his dad fucked Mila Kunis Had the reasons why he turned evil Was adopted. Brother was a genetic freak with super powers. Michael Jackson licked his balls. Get it?

What I liked most about Thor is that it wasn't another super hero finding out his powers an becoming comfortable and accepted as himself. It had a redemption/coming of age story with out the burden of an origin story. The Jotunheim scene where he fought the frost really tall guys was great and it only reaffirms how he smashes the rest of the Avengers and Marvel World movies in powers. And it's kind of funny in scale seeing that Thor would take like 4 seconds to wipe out the villains of The Fantastic Four, Spiderman, Xmen, Hulk and Iron Man movies.

The humor/comic relief was actually enjoyable. I thought the taser scene was funny and I appreciate the taser operating girl having noodz leak just in time for me to google her name after I saw the movie. Kats Dennings has great tits and deserves to be commended for them and immediately destroyed for being dumb enough to send pictures of them to some guy. It's amazing how much more attractive a girl is when you realize she has no self respect.

Now here's where the girl(go back to the first paragraph second mistake) next to me became a problem. Explaining the Bifrost Bridge to her 5 times and how they didn't time travel or go to another part of middle earth or whatever became distracting and absolutely not worth the post movie coitus. Now for me to blame her seems a bit out of line but she was supposed to be a symbol of the typical fan walking into a movie like Thor there in not understanding the back story. They took their time explaining the whole multiple worlds thing. They never addressed Odin-sleep and why he needs it, and that he isn't dead.

As a quick side point why was Rene Russo in that movie? She literally had 5 lines and she was once known as a famous actress, did she have kids or something? When I leave a movie theater where a comic book fan just saw his second favorite comic book character in a movie and all he can think about is how silly Rene Russo something is amidst!!

The final fight was silly. Thor can shit on Loki's face if he wants. Loki needs minions with him. And not robots or drones. Even the Ice Lebrons would've worked or at least would've been better than a fight with the god of thunder and a guy who's one move was a PSYCHE! MADE YOU LOOK!! Maybe if they gave Loki a day to get ready and tie strings to paint cans and put a blowtorch on a kitchen door he could've put up a better fight. Get it? He looks like Macully Culkin.

This was always my problem with the Thor comics, they rarely gave him a villain worthy of Thor's powers. And to be honest vikings fighting frost giants is kind of a pussy batle in itself. Thor killed what looked like 500 frost giants in this movie, to argue that ragnarok at the end of the world is one big battle against them is kind of hilarious. It would take Thor 5 minutes to wipe them out. To think that they based a culture a squash.


All in all I liked the movie. Not as much as Iron Man 1 or Xmen 2 but decent enough. It had its problems but the special effects worked out great. I recommend not seeing it in 3d as the Ice James Worthy battles are kind of blurry especially the first one, compared to the time when I got drunk and saw the movie Sunday by myself.


After the review review on after the credits:

The Skrull cube looks interesting in itself, especially with the addition of Loki. Makes me think that they're going to do the body snatcher invasion Skrull story line, which is a solid one. Or they're gonna do the Ultimates story of the alien invasion for the Vibranium.

The Avengers movies still have only one star in them so far out of Iron Man, Thor, Hawkeye, The Hulk Black Widow and Captain America, so far only Robert Downey JR is the star. Maybe that will change, kind of stupid to get rid of Edward Norton, different argument for a different day.

Well it's a quarter after 1 I'm spaced out on vics watching Kung Fu movies and I neeeeed you no-ooooo-oow

I wish they'd release a version of slingblade where all the non Dwayne parts are edited out.

overdoing it.

K19 widow maker is the worst movie you never saw. I can't get over why they insisted in speaking English in Russian accents. Its a true story about a Cold War era Russian Nuclear sub, why are they not just speaking Russian? Then why have them speak English with a Russian accent? Just speak normal English, call it an American sub and have the ending be accurate to the American story where we dropped a bomb on China or whatever and killed Hitler in his dick.

I like submarine movies for some reason. Maybe its because I'm not claustrophobic until I think about underwater caves and how much they freak me out. Imagine having to swim through a concrete pipe underwater? Wouldn't that completely freak you out? There's been a couple really good sub movies and this is not one of them. The Hunt for Red October and Das Boot will always be the perennial favorites for everyone, but for me I really liked the Crimson Tide. This paragraph would normally be deleted for going nowhere but for some reason I want my favorite submarine movie known.

This movie's 6.6 is one of IMDB's most gracious ratings, right next to Kingdom of Heaven getting a 7.1. It makes me actually want to start seriously voting on IMDB's 1-10 but the day I have the time to do that is the day I'll start a blog just to hammer actresses and movies that I don't like. Which reminds me this movie has 0 women characters and I actually miss them, allthough I'm sure Michelle Rodriguez would be in this movie as the street tough kid who gives it like she gets it. If she could do a Russian accent, but then again it didn't stop anyone else from being casted.

The doctor of the movie for some reason is in his 60s which is odd considering in the military wouldn't he be retired? They couldn't find a younger Doctor? Luckily the movie does you the favor of hiding that issue by having him speak with an English accent. Which is so much more distracting than the bad Russian accents. It would be like on top of Sasha Grey's shitty acting in Entourage making her wear an ant eater suit. Its shittiness distracting you from out of place awkwardness overlapping shitty story line to begin with. It really is a 7 layer burrito of awful. Its putting a lion on a roller coaster that is going to crash, by the time you really start wondering who took the time to strap a lion down and put it on a fucking roller coaster you've gone off the tracks and you're just wating to crash into the fucking ground.

The constant "comrading" of each other is a bit much, they might as well be holding up Russian flags all the time. I'm sure they called each other that from time to time but its in every fucking sentence at this point. Its a prefix and a suffix to statements thats just unnecessary at best. Harrison Ford just stopped doing his accent. This is kind of funny. Ok he's doing it again. Not sure what that was about. Harrison must've been having an off day for that scene or he got the Indiana Jones 4 script between scenes and was so dumfounded he broke character and just read the lines from cue cards.

outside: "We must not surrender the ship"
inside: "A FUCKING REFRIGERATOR?"


Everyone sounds like they're doing Rocky IV impressions. Harrison Ford just said "if he dies he dies". What's funny is the second tier stars accents are better than the first. Liam Neeson should just be arrested for stealing a check for this movie.

Liam Neeson is just talking I'm not sure where he's from but this is just Liam being Liam. Which is off putting. At least his hair isn't died hot rod flat black. Honestly I've never been impressed with Liam. They bill him in movies like he's really ever been in anything special other than the trailer for Taken.

What this movie lacks in passion and quality acting it more than makes up for with scenes of crushingly depressing scenes of young men dying. A third of the crew dies from radiation sickness. I don't know if anyone has ever seen people dying of radiation sickness but it's kind of like people dying of any disease its slow and full of vomit and sores.

Unlike other movies where exposure to radiation sickness would give these guys powers in this movie they just kind of have their skin get cooked and they shake and puke out their last hours. Makes me wonder what the fuck Stan Lee was thinking with some of his origins for his super heroes. If Peter Parker would have been bitten by a radioactive spider he'd shit blood until his heart was too weak to beat.

Which ironically would've been better than Spiderman 3.

I can't get over how bad Morgan Freeman and Ed Harris were in Gone Baby Gone. The studio got so little for return of their $

why

really shitty confession, I swear I love Vin Diesel as an actor/human and I insist that action movies are good as mindless silliness.

yet out of the series I've only seen Fast and Furious 2 and I honestly hated it.

worst part of my weekend?

Sidney Poitier being in the Jackal.

Richard Gere being billed as a tough IRA assassin.

Richard Gere's accent in the Jackal.

Richard Gere in chicago.


Jack Black's career after the Jackal.

Jack Black's acting in the Jackal.

The lady's fake Russian accent.

The continuity problems with her smoking in some scenes then lighting a cigarette in the next one.

Bruce Willis' costumes and disguises in the Jackal.

Bruce Willis going through the trouble of creating a unmanned rifle that can shoot miles away just to shoot the first lady from 300 feet when no one even knew where the shots were coming from.

Bruce Willis' Simon Phoenix impersonation when he doesn't know how to play an actual homicidal killer.

The fact a nearby subway wouldn't be shut down after a 50 cal automatic rifle just painted a building where a thousand plus people just almost died at.

A plot to kill the first lady and this not being the first or last movie to visit that idea.

parallels

Elton John will be at my wedding, and the broad I marry will be a princess.

Ok I'll say it. "Faster" is a great fucking gritty movie and The Rock was really strong in it.

a requiem for dana hersey

I remember being a kid and the channel that would later turn into UPN and then the WB and eventually became whatever it is today was called WSBK and they would have a show called the movie loft and I would watch movies like Jason And The Argonauts and The Deer Hunter, completely unedited on broadcast TV.

This clip is EXACTLY how I remember it and I started looking for lists of movies this show played. God it was great.



The best voice and gestures, can't believe this guy didn't end up a national star.

This channel also played Bruins games M*A*S*H* and Coach, so needless to say I'd be in my bed with drawers underneath it with my rainbow quilt and my tricerotops were on my night stand in beautiful display watching over my perfectly rapable bottom. While my non cable tv would be locked on this station.

Did you guys realize that the hotel owner on Deadwood was also in Newhart?
I told my dad that and he acted like I just broke the story of the sky being blue.

Can you fucking believe Robert Altman directed Popeye?
holy shit worst post ever

The worst part of my Tron sequel let down was that I thought a Disney movie could've been good.

going deep.

I remember watching a preview for a movie like maybe 5 or 100 years ago for some stupid horror movie that nobody saw. Where a girl sends a picture of herself to her boyfriend while she's showering and the boyfriend sees the killer behind her in the picture and that was like a really creepy moment, for 15 year old girls or whatever. Movies never go deep enough into the things that actually interest me.

then I thought how fucking awful it must be to find out your daughter was murdered at school and on top of that she was a dirty whore.

You know the difference between The Tourist and From Paris With Love? I expected better from Depp.

Backdraft

Donald Sutherland playing arsonist Hannibal Lector is so fucking awful. Asking Baldwin if the fire looked at him? That is supposed to be him psychologically breaking down Baldwin. Pressuring him about a fucking fire he showed up at. Fantastic. Do you still hear the lambs Clarice? His burn scars are ridiculous. One eyebrow and a hilarious part burned into his head. Fucking jerk off wrote this movie? His character has the subtlety of dynamite fishing.


HACK!
was he ever good in anything? I hated Body Snatchers, he was in that right?
To me he just seems like Christopher Walken/Jon Voight.
eh... fuck 'em

The electrical socket shaped burn on the vet pitcher from Major League "reveal" really pushes the whole idea of it being a reveal, the guy attempted to murder a state representative and their plan is to later confront the guy about it on a roof.


For those of you struggling to remember theres an altercation in a house between Baldwin and a masked assailant. In the scuffle the masked douche is burned on an electrical outlet and later at the fire house Baldwin sees a fellow fireman have a perfect outlet shaped scar on his back. The movie has the fucking nerve to show a flashback for those of you who lost a loved one in the 20 minutes between the events and completely forgot.

Did anyone else think the whole uncovering a complex plot to steal municipal funding was a bit much for 2 firefighters? Or even 1 fire fighter and his lieutenant? They basically did Serpico except with fire fighters no help from internal affairs and not good. I kinda wanna be a cop just so I can openly not talk to Internal Affairs, give them nothing. I rarely ever get to stonewall someone. Fucking dying to give it a shot someday. Watching season 2 of the wire does that to me, makes me want to keep my mouth shut until I lawyer up. Always wanted to say "you gonna charge me?"

Such a gutsy thing to do, its like a nail asking a carpenter to hit them and brashly strutting out of the...nail keeping area. Not my best analogy but its still hard as life.

I can't believe I loved this movie as a fucking kid. The explosions are so cool. The barrels just rocketing up. Forgot about the ax fight. What a stupid climax. I was a real dickhead when I was a kid. Someone should have swung me by the ankles and break my neck on a fucking sink.


Chicago is such a beautiful city and I only hear great things about it. I hope I never go there and have it ruined for me. Or it dies so people can over rate it greatly. This movie stinks but I think it was the last time any movie was allowed to show firemen in any sort of light other than "selfless hero"

Is Angelina Jolie walking the streets of libya is just the most TYPICAL fucking thing ever? Going to oversee things are we? Making sure things are OK? Just concentrate on making movies about bullets curving you fucking over involved self important slit. No one would know your fucking name if you weren't attractive and didn't get naked. You're one set of tits and a dna line to a C level actor away from working at Olive Garden. The Libyan rebels still hate women and would beat you with rocks if they saw this picture



side boob = stoning

Executive Decison

Executive Decision on Spike. John Leguizano. Asian guy from Oz. Kurt Russel. Halle Berry. Steven Segal. The guy who blew his brains out in A Few Good Men. The one armed man from the Fugitive. Donald Trump's ex-wife. The Jump to Conclusions guy from Office Space. The Doctor from Total Recall. Oliver Plat. Black Guy from Terminator 2. The guy who directed Lethal Weapon and Superman. The guy who wrote Predator.

Fuck is this?

It is nice that the terrorists in this movie are muslim though. I'm kind of sick of seeing Eastern Europeans billed as suicide pact having terrorists. Does anyone think its funny that the movie was basically saved by Kurt Russel racially profiling looking for muslims on a plane? I'm in.

Bigger travesty of the early 00s? Robin Williams being carried on about as funny or that Amanda Peet billed as an enchanting attractive woman?

For the life of me I can't tell you why S.W.A.T. was a bad movie, plot wasn't bad acting was good enough....execution? Fuck knows.

conspiracy theory

I can't prove this, but I've seen Katherine Heigl smoking electronic cigarettes so many times now on various celeb news websites that its becoming pretty obvious that she's been paid to be seen using the product, she even talked about it on Letterman.

If this is true is she the most despicable celebrity in Hollywood. I've always suspected some celebrities getting paid under the table money to promote smoking, I don't really care if they do it though, I just don't like Heigl. Or women.

gay people are so fucking gay

I have no ill-will towards gay people or their causes and if it was up to me it would be a federal law for them to have the same rights as straight people. I fully admit I use "faggot" and "homo" daily as insults and use the term "gay" to put things down but I don't subscribe to the "gay people are inferior" horse shit. I love Morrissey, Rufus Wainwright and David Bowie And I realize that is a really long lead in for something that isn't that offensive to begin with, but I have to say it.

Just because a movie is a big deal to gay people it doesn't make it good. There are 2 good songs in Hedwig. Tootsie was not a good movie. John Waters isn't particularly funny. Brokeback Mountain took forever to get going and Jake Gyllenhaal was TERRIBLE in it. Sean Penn's accent in Milk was hilarious and distracting. Denzel was better in Philadelphia than Hanks. Every movie now where dudes make out its suddenly a big deal, I just heard that Dicapprio and the twin guy from Social Network filmed their kissing scene. Why is this a big deal? Because gay people make it one.

Gay people need to stop making such a big deal about themselves, they are culturally significant but because they have big roles in the media they over blow it. They went through a lot but there are more people in this country that support them that don't and if they had the numbers they claim to then they would win every election.

That being said I'm Boston Irish and culturally we have contributed next to nothing outside of maybe 10 patents and an annual Academy nomination for an overdone accent. The 2 nicest houses in my town are owned by gay people and whenever I drive by them I am awestruck by their beauty. I wish everyone on my street were gay couples.

That also being said I find The Birdcage to be one of the funniest movies of all time and Robin Williams needs to come out.

Instead of redoing classics hollywood should start redoing movies with good plots that just didn't work out for whatever reason. And let's start with Alexander.

LOTR IS LOL PT2 PT2

Its like the movie knew I was rolling my eyes. Back to Rudy and The Gummy Bear. I put Rudy first because unlike gummy Rudy actually has dialog and is smart enough to not trust the horrible CGI Monkey. So they're walking still. That's about all I've picked up. Gummy Bear just had a seizure. Fell in the water. Wow. The cgi ghosts underwater is really bad. This movie is 8 years old not 28. The ghosts look like the smog thing from Ferngully. Its OK though I've seen this movie and they will never be seen or heard from again. CGI Monkey and Gummy Bear are talking. I guess this is when back story is revealed about the monkey. So I'm gonna go refreshen my drink.

So Magneto is back and....more walking I guess. Here's a slow-mo shot of a horse....this is fucking really stupid, its a 9 hour+ series of fucking movies how the fuck did this make the cut this is just padding. Its like a fucking Enya video. Its still going on. I don't know much about horses so maybe I'm missing something. But seriously who gives a shit about these faggot cowdogs. They have 5 stories going on at the same time and its not impossible to follow but it definitely doesn't have to be like this and any credit the director gets is really fucking misplaced. Another fucking jump back to Rudy and the CGI Monkey and Gummy Bear. I've decided to give Gummy Bear third billing because he flat out stopped talking at this point and replaced dialog with looking like he did frog heroin with his green skin and eyes closed constantly with the stumbling and the only fucking thing he does is keeps fucking dying. Bill Murray dying in Groundhog's Day meant more than this. The Worf army is marching and forming, guess this wasn't covered yet. If this movie took out the things that keep repeating it'd be fucking 45 minutes long and I'd probably like it. Honestly who likes these clusterfuck movies? They go nowhere and introduce characters like its the fucking Bad Girls Club, no regard for where we are in the story or who is where, hey heres 6 new people who's name you're supposed to know when other people reference them. I have no fucking clue what Eastern Promises name is how am I supposed to know the 3 kings fucking names and the cities they rule?

This broad has a five head, forehead is so big it is now a five head. Who? I don't know, I didn't know reading the fucking book was a prerequisite to get through this convoluted mass of shit. Instead of having 100 characters doing marginal things have fucking 7 do incredible things. Its a fantasy movie its ok if the Wizard casts a fucking spell that makes a difference, or the fucking asshole with the sword is one guy instead of fucking 19. The fucking King is still possessed?!?!?!? Fucking get this over with! The eastern promises crew + magneto are gonna try and talk to him. Fucking guy is crush goth. He looks like he could sing for Behemoth. 2 Behemouth references is a bit much but whatever it works. Lord Ov The Rings. So far still only one ring. Several lords. This exorcism is quite drawn out, OK enough already with the fucking power of Magneto compelling him just fucking get this over with. Goth Alan Rickman doesn't get killed for trying to kill the king? Really? Hang him or something, its the fucking Middle ages draw and quarter him! More of the Rudy crew observing military exercises. This movie is in a cycle of boring. At least play Slayer - War Ensemble. It was made for this fucking moment.

Cut to Eastern Promises and the gang. The troll fell off a horse. Was this supposed to be funny? Christopher Reeve isn't laughing you cock suckers! So eastern promises is dead. Fell off a cliff when a hyena tackled him or something. Oh wait no he didn't in what could be the least shocking reveal ever he's still alive. This movie refuses to kill off people. At this point life and death in this movie means less to me than VH1 telling me Tina Turner is attractive.

So they're setting up a big battle. And it must be a big one because its been about a half hour now of people sharpening swords and talking to each other about nothing. Annnd here comes a fight. I guess. Still fighting. Arrows and.... all sorts of shit I've seen in a million movies. The fight scene is nice but I mean. This is it. Its just a big fight and this is what the point of the movie and it took 2 hours to fucking get to and nothing happened before it and now they cut away from it to go back to the Rudy crew just walking and being tired, thats fine they can stay tired and walking, there is a mammoth scale battle going on I don't give a fuck about them and its your fucking fault. Every time you put them on I roll my fucking eyes. Its sticking out more than...yeah I'll do another Face/Off reference. Its getting to the point where I'm trying to like this movie and what its doing and its so fucking impossible to believe in like when Pollux Troy's interaction when his brother Castor(Cage on the outside Travolta on the inside) was asking him questions about their crimes in the past to incriminate them and Pollux had the foresight and intuition to be suspicious of the situation like he knew about a face transplant fucking surgery to his own fucking brother and partner in crime. A little wordy but it works. Pterodactyl attack kind of awesome. First time I've typed that in two movies, and looking like the last. Something really scary about Pterodactyls. Something pitch black didn't really get right and something Reign of Fire completely missed. Flying death creatures that don't have feathers or any reason to let you live are fucking terrifying.

Magneto is back again. For the 4th time. And he wipes out an army of 10k with 80 guys on horses. If this guy was so great why did he leave them in the first place? Seems like a couple thousand people died just so this queef can make an entrance. Now the trees are fighting. Who even gives a shit? This is some captain planet shit. Trees angry at deforestation. Why is no one alarmed that trees can talk and move? They run into these trees and act like its a given. Self pity party with Rudy and Gummy Bear. Write a fucking AFI song about it you two mopey bitches. They do have a point though, the biggest part of the movie at least in theory is these two fucking guys and I am out and out shocked no one is helping these pieces of shit. They have 8 races of things trying to fight these armies and fucking no one is even helping these stiffs besides a fucking bald gibbon who is trying to fuck them over every chance he fucking gets.


Haha here comes a montage! They're just replaying parts of the fights now while Rudy cries and tries to motivate Gummy Bear. Again, you are a 9 hour movie, and when you just fucking repeat the same scenes over and over its ridiculous. When you fucking stop the movie and replay a montage of past scenes its fucking insulting.