page one
documentary about the new york times
I guess if I liked the times or newspapers or printed things I'd be more interested in it. But I mean the movie was supposed to appeal to an audience watching it not reading it in a fucking newspaper, i don't even know if those still exist.
It was just basically a praise piece saying newspapers are dying and its our fault not theirs. They also told me how great New York is and tried to make me feel bad for not caring about it.
They had a big part on them breaking the wikileaks stuff. Which would probably be interesting if I watched current events. but I don't. So it was like someone telling me about milking cobras, i have no idea if what the person is telling me is true or not. So i basically watched 90 minutes fly over my head and felt nothing for anything.
rantings of a person who has no reason to be as sure of himself as he is.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
watching bridemaids for some reason.
If guys were making these jokes no one would think it would be funny.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Watching Game of Thrones. Don't you think two incestual plot twists in the first episode is at best kind of unnecessary?
I mean one would've been like "oh wow" but by te time the second one happened I was just kind of annoyed by it.
I'm trying to like this show, it's basically one big tv show based on Primordial lyrics. But at the same time there's just so much keeping me from really liking it.
1 show in
2 evil blonde manipulative men being the bad guy
2 arranged marriages
2 secretive messages delivered by a rider at night
2 incest brother sister creepy shitstories
2 beheadings
8 different sets of tits.
0 real explanation of anything. But it's one episode maybe it'll get it together
I mean one would've been like "oh wow" but by te time the second one happened I was just kind of annoyed by it.
I'm trying to like this show, it's basically one big tv show based on Primordial lyrics. But at the same time there's just so much keeping me from really liking it.
1 show in
2 evil blonde manipulative men being the bad guy
2 arranged marriages
2 secretive messages delivered by a rider at night
2 incest brother sister creepy shitstories
2 beheadings
8 different sets of tits.
0 real explanation of anything. But it's one episode maybe it'll get it together
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Tearing down a tower amongst fan boys.
Batman begins 2 dark knight city starts out with a really gritty kind of serious movie that i guess i took seriously. It was kind of deep with character growth and consequences that effected the plot line. I actually forgot it was a stupid movie about a jerk off in a cape.
and then the final 40 minutes happen.
It didn't need the 40 minutes.
It didnt need Zeus being a selfless nameless convict who rejects the notion of taking a life and throwing a detonator out of a window.
it didn't need a boat operator reasoning with an unruly crowd of regular people on a ferry dealing with their pending death and calming them down like there is any reason he would be poignant and well spoken he drives a fucking ferry.
It didn't need a fucking made up sonar computer tracker voice recognition tracer showing resonating images.
Didn't need Harvey Dent being a bad guy for 20 minutes and then being killed.
It didnt need a remote mine launching gun with sniper rifle accuracy
It didn't need the joker dressed as a nurse.
Didn't need batman fighting the cops just to keep them from getting shot. When a "hold up bro" would've done.
It was a pretty good movie that had so much extra. Whoever edited the movie should issue an apology.
Looking back at the whole thing. Can anyone explain why batman was able to karate chop a hole in the side of the van?
Why kill Gary Oldman just to bring him back?
Why the fuck are you loud whispering with a fake stupid voice?
Why make another fucking movie about batman?
and then the final 40 minutes happen.
It didn't need the 40 minutes.
It didnt need Zeus being a selfless nameless convict who rejects the notion of taking a life and throwing a detonator out of a window.
it didn't need a boat operator reasoning with an unruly crowd of regular people on a ferry dealing with their pending death and calming them down like there is any reason he would be poignant and well spoken he drives a fucking ferry.
It didn't need a fucking made up sonar computer tracker voice recognition tracer showing resonating images.
Didn't need Harvey Dent being a bad guy for 20 minutes and then being killed.
It didnt need a remote mine launching gun with sniper rifle accuracy
It didn't need the joker dressed as a nurse.
Didn't need batman fighting the cops just to keep them from getting shot. When a "hold up bro" would've done.
It was a pretty good movie that had so much extra. Whoever edited the movie should issue an apology.
Looking back at the whole thing. Can anyone explain why batman was able to karate chop a hole in the side of the van?
Why kill Gary Oldman just to bring him back?
Why the fuck are you loud whispering with a fake stupid voice?
Why make another fucking movie about batman?
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
trailer park pt 2
OK
I honestly challenge any of you to find me a trailer of a movie I want to see less or have less of a problem of the movie even being made than this one.
take your time.
because this movie is fucking exhausting to even see a 90 second summary of.
and if any of you can explain to me why this man is allowed to make movies any more OR how he can sleep at night please don't hesitate to call me on my cell phone to explain it.
I honestly challenge any of you to find me a trailer of a movie I want to see less or have less of a problem of the movie even being made than this one.
take your time.
because this movie is fucking exhausting to even see a 90 second summary of.
and if any of you can explain to me why this man is allowed to make movies any more OR how he can sleep at night please don't hesitate to call me on my cell phone to explain it.
fuck pile
I can safely say with out a hint of irony that Tree of Life was in NO way better than Fast and The Furious Five.
Can I sue Terrence Malick for having Penn and Pitt in the same movie and creating a pile of fucking rubbish? Fucking guy is from Illinois and directs movies like he's from a Teutonic country.
Discovery Channel NON-PLANET LIFE documentaries have much higher quality cinematography and settings, when the movie is billed as awe inspiring and a visual treat it has to at least be significantly better than a youtube video.
I mean The New World was such a brick that I'm shocked they let this guy direct a fucking Geico commercial let alone a major motion picture with elite talent. Who has the money to put up for this horse shit? Who was pitched "we wanna show a movie of slow landscape pans complete with Sean Penn whispering in the background incoherence about his mother"
The fact this movie is getting positive reviews just shows how desperate people are to not just see a typical movie, the problem is this is untypical in the way its untypical to get syrup inside your urethra. Its odd, rarely happens, doesn't mean when it happens it should be celebrated.
I will say Sean Penn was great in this movie in a role where he maybe said 4 minutes of actual dialogue. He's such a good actor that I'm surprised that when he met Scarlet Johansson that the world didn't bend from two polar opposites of the spectrum meeting each other. It was like bleach being poured into crude oil. I'm not sure what the fuck happened but I know it was unpalatable.
I can honestly say the trailer really only shows passing glimpses at the characters with no explanation of their actions and no dialogue of consequence or any real description of plot or even any spoken words and it basically gives the entire movie away. This movie may set the all time record for frolicking.
Brad Pitt is on such a fucking cold streak I'm starting to wonder if he was even a good actor to begin with or just handsome and competent enough for me to watch his movies accordingly. 127 hours was a far better visual movie and it wasn't billed strictly as one. The Fountain is another movie that was untypical and had a lot of non-spoken emotions and visualizations and at no point while watching it did I fucking pull out my phone to look at box scores of baseball games I didn't care about.
I texted my boss to ask him "whats up?" during this movie.
Terrence Malick my balls.
Can I sue Terrence Malick for having Penn and Pitt in the same movie and creating a pile of fucking rubbish? Fucking guy is from Illinois and directs movies like he's from a Teutonic country.
Discovery Channel NON-PLANET LIFE documentaries have much higher quality cinematography and settings, when the movie is billed as awe inspiring and a visual treat it has to at least be significantly better than a youtube video.
I mean The New World was such a brick that I'm shocked they let this guy direct a fucking Geico commercial let alone a major motion picture with elite talent. Who has the money to put up for this horse shit? Who was pitched "we wanna show a movie of slow landscape pans complete with Sean Penn whispering in the background incoherence about his mother"
The fact this movie is getting positive reviews just shows how desperate people are to not just see a typical movie, the problem is this is untypical in the way its untypical to get syrup inside your urethra. Its odd, rarely happens, doesn't mean when it happens it should be celebrated.
I will say Sean Penn was great in this movie in a role where he maybe said 4 minutes of actual dialogue. He's such a good actor that I'm surprised that when he met Scarlet Johansson that the world didn't bend from two polar opposites of the spectrum meeting each other. It was like bleach being poured into crude oil. I'm not sure what the fuck happened but I know it was unpalatable.
I can honestly say the trailer really only shows passing glimpses at the characters with no explanation of their actions and no dialogue of consequence or any real description of plot or even any spoken words and it basically gives the entire movie away. This movie may set the all time record for frolicking.
Brad Pitt is on such a fucking cold streak I'm starting to wonder if he was even a good actor to begin with or just handsome and competent enough for me to watch his movies accordingly. 127 hours was a far better visual movie and it wasn't billed strictly as one. The Fountain is another movie that was untypical and had a lot of non-spoken emotions and visualizations and at no point while watching it did I fucking pull out my phone to look at box scores of baseball games I didn't care about.
I texted my boss to ask him "whats up?" during this movie.
Terrence Malick my balls.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
trailer park trash
matrix bullet time
matrix reverse duck
stupid forced fake 3d
multi-racial Conan
lord of the rings lookingy backdrop foggy mountains
braveheart different army charge
"no man shall live in chains" what does that even mean? did he just dis slaves?
what is this?
why?
the first one wasn't even that good
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
x-meh
a real quick one because its agonizing when the two longer column opinion thingies whatevers I've written in the last 2 weeks have been about comic book movies but I saw the new X-men movie and it was definitely a movie. Anyways they had a cameo of Wolverine in the movie and he tells Charles and Eric to "go fuck yourselves" and I was in the theater enjoying the movie when I thought to myself:
Why is wolverine allowed to be wolverine in this movie and Hugh Jackman in others? He is horrendous in the Wolverine movie and then in this movie in 8 seconds they actually get the character that Wolverine should be and would be if Hugh Jackman wasn't producing the movies. Hugh got the rights to make the movie and just made a sappy bad convoluted movie with random characters in a slapdash story line where like in every movie with a huge let down of a failure, the voiceless nemesis of the entire movie was introduced 20 seconds before the final confusing fight scene, after a bad twist that came 10 minutes after another bad twist.
When you make a movie building up on a villain and a dead wife murdered and in the final 10 minutes of the movie you reveal that the wife wasn't dead and the murderer of the wife really was a good guy just before a big fight with laser beam eyed ninjas you have successfully fucked a movie up in such a silly way that i assume that instead of cum you had to have shot fish heads out of a dick wearing pilot goggles.
A big mistake I made was I forgot that Hugh Jackman COULD play Wolverine, He just hasn't gotten the chance. Part his fault, part FOX, part the over praised Bryan Singer, part writers, part a million other things NO ONE including me should give a shit about. My lack of seeing movies like The Fountain and The Prestige allowed me to forget that Hugh Jackman is a good actor and I can't believe it based on only seeing him in the X-men movies, and of course...Swordfish. A movie that was so gay that it will be in the next real world cast saying "picked to live in a houthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh".
As for the movie.
If you're like me and you loved the first class comics well throw that all away, and any Xmen knowledge, or any reference in the first 3 movies where Xavier says Scott and Jean were his first students. But unlike other fanmen I'm not upset about it, its a movie, if I wanted the comic I'd read the comic.
It was a really good cast aside from January Jones outside of her tits. It was ok, and widescreen, I suggest sitting in the back, I don't know who shot this fucking thing but he got every inch out of the screen. Fuck it. January Jones keeps the streak alive of Mad Men characters completely sucking in movie roles. I realize saying January Jones wasn't a good actress in _______ is about as shocking as Hugh Jackman liking dry humping and rubbing 5 o'clock shadows.
But between Sterling, Jones and Draper these guys are becoming the ER and NYPD blue of the 2010s. When it comes to striking out in big screen roles. I hold judgement for Christina Hendricks because I feel like she's good enough of an actress where she can suspend the audience's belief in any sort of a storyliAHHAHAHAHAHA TITS.
nice dress dick
Why is wolverine allowed to be wolverine in this movie and Hugh Jackman in others? He is horrendous in the Wolverine movie and then in this movie in 8 seconds they actually get the character that Wolverine should be and would be if Hugh Jackman wasn't producing the movies. Hugh got the rights to make the movie and just made a sappy bad convoluted movie with random characters in a slapdash story line where like in every movie with a huge let down of a failure, the voiceless nemesis of the entire movie was introduced 20 seconds before the final confusing fight scene, after a bad twist that came 10 minutes after another bad twist.
When you make a movie building up on a villain and a dead wife murdered and in the final 10 minutes of the movie you reveal that the wife wasn't dead and the murderer of the wife really was a good guy just before a big fight with laser beam eyed ninjas you have successfully fucked a movie up in such a silly way that i assume that instead of cum you had to have shot fish heads out of a dick wearing pilot goggles.
A big mistake I made was I forgot that Hugh Jackman COULD play Wolverine, He just hasn't gotten the chance. Part his fault, part FOX, part the over praised Bryan Singer, part writers, part a million other things NO ONE including me should give a shit about. My lack of seeing movies like The Fountain and The Prestige allowed me to forget that Hugh Jackman is a good actor and I can't believe it based on only seeing him in the X-men movies, and of course...Swordfish. A movie that was so gay that it will be in the next real world cast saying "picked to live in a houthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh".
As for the movie.
If you're like me and you loved the first class comics well throw that all away, and any Xmen knowledge, or any reference in the first 3 movies where Xavier says Scott and Jean were his first students. But unlike other fanmen I'm not upset about it, its a movie, if I wanted the comic I'd read the comic.
It was a really good cast aside from January Jones outside of her tits. It was ok, and widescreen, I suggest sitting in the back, I don't know who shot this fucking thing but he got every inch out of the screen. Fuck it. January Jones keeps the streak alive of Mad Men characters completely sucking in movie roles. I realize saying January Jones wasn't a good actress in _______ is about as shocking as Hugh Jackman liking dry humping and rubbing 5 o'clock shadows.
But between Sterling, Jones and Draper these guys are becoming the ER and NYPD blue of the 2010s. When it comes to striking out in big screen roles. I hold judgement for Christina Hendricks because I feel like she's good enough of an actress where she can suspend the audience's belief in any sort of a storyliAHHAHAHAHAHA TITS.
nice dress dick
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Thursday, June 2, 2011
lets build a house
lets make up a t.v. show just to do it. even though this is the beginning of me expressing heartbreak over a casting job by a producer lets just do it...
i love writers, so i'll start here and i love to write but all i can do is write cynical horse shit and since cynicism is intellectual treason then you know i suck and i'm only good at tearing houses down not building one. So lets look at how nice this house could be. David Milch wrote the best two shows HBO never should've cancelled in Deadwood and John From Cincinnati. So you have a fantastic writer and a cable network that owes this director a big favor after two short sighted fuck ups that I pray to god they know they should take back.
Add to that a top 10 all time actor in Dustin Hoffman and fantastic character actors like the Jewish guy from Snatch, one of the presidential advisers from Dave, The big brother from Summer Catch(fuck you I liked it), Larry David's douchey unfunny cousin who's wife made the hats, Nick fucking Nolte (although his character being known as "The Old Man" is fucking perilous at best). The lead is a relatively unknown guy playing a who gives a shit at a race track.
It seems I'm just listing things here so I'll get back to the story. The story is around horse racing and even though that has no bearing on anyone's life who's family didn't directly benefit from slave labor it is a dramatically unknown subculture of America that no one has written anything about other than an underdog story about a horse no one believed in.
So everything seems lined up right? Well hold on right where you are because low and behold Micheal Mann is involved. Micheal Mann has fucked up so many great houses that other better humans have built and he at this point to me in my life owes me an apology for Wanted. A great collection of actors characters story and idea for a movie that he dog fucked. Micheal Mann has had a list of travesties that only enrages me and when compared to Wanted the only bigger sin than when he let Al Pacino play the Los Angeles Police Detective like a fucking carnival barker from fucking New Orleans.
Anyways Luck could be a great show, or it could suck because Michael Mann is a set of fucking tits.
fuck it.
horses.
i love writers, so i'll start here and i love to write but all i can do is write cynical horse shit and since cynicism is intellectual treason then you know i suck and i'm only good at tearing houses down not building one. So lets look at how nice this house could be. David Milch wrote the best two shows HBO never should've cancelled in Deadwood and John From Cincinnati. So you have a fantastic writer and a cable network that owes this director a big favor after two short sighted fuck ups that I pray to god they know they should take back.
Add to that a top 10 all time actor in Dustin Hoffman and fantastic character actors like the Jewish guy from Snatch, one of the presidential advisers from Dave, The big brother from Summer Catch(fuck you I liked it), Larry David's douchey unfunny cousin who's wife made the hats, Nick fucking Nolte (although his character being known as "The Old Man" is fucking perilous at best). The lead is a relatively unknown guy playing a who gives a shit at a race track.
It seems I'm just listing things here so I'll get back to the story. The story is around horse racing and even though that has no bearing on anyone's life who's family didn't directly benefit from slave labor it is a dramatically unknown subculture of America that no one has written anything about other than an underdog story about a horse no one believed in.
So everything seems lined up right? Well hold on right where you are because low and behold Micheal Mann is involved. Micheal Mann has fucked up so many great houses that other better humans have built and he at this point to me in my life owes me an apology for Wanted. A great collection of actors characters story and idea for a movie that he dog fucked. Micheal Mann has had a list of travesties that only enrages me and when compared to Wanted the only bigger sin than when he let Al Pacino play the Los Angeles Police Detective like a fucking carnival barker from fucking New Orleans.
Anyways Luck could be a great show, or it could suck because Michael Mann is a set of fucking tits.
fuck it.
horses.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)