Unconventional

Love and Other Drugs.

I happen to be in love with Anne Hathaway so I jumped at a chance to see her in a movie where she would get naked constantly. For those of you who saw Havoc you know how much a bad movie can benefit from Hathaway's tits. And this movie has way more Hathaway nudity, unfortunately the movie came with the same unwanted elements havoc did. A plot, other actors, and a stupid wardrobe Hathaway would spend in 25 of the 56 minutes she was on screen. Unlike Havoc however they got rid of the atrocious excuse to show slutty teenage girls with the cover of a coming of age insight on teenage subculture in the suburbs. Gone is that and in its place one of the more misunderstood beasts of modern cinema. A "smart adult comedy" with that though same old excuses to see a mid-20s something broad naked.

So if you watch the TV show House you know that the title character is the only interesting character and that doctors are really good looking. In House some girl who's name I will look up later (looked it up her name is Olivia Wilde) plays a character called 13. 13 has a disease and uses this an excuse to have no personality or depth or allow anyone close to them in the matter of the show and is reduced to reckless slutty behavior because she doesn't value much of her life because she wasn't permitted to have one.

this broad.


The writers use this excuse as an attention grabber and allow her to degenerate further and faster than other characters because they're lazy. Sound like a shallow boring character that you've seen a million times? Well make way because Anne Hathaway is about to play the same character in this fucking movie. To the point even where I think they have the same exact disease. At one point I'd expect her to be replaced in some scenes with stock footage from House.


So Anne is allowed to act unconventional and have an odd value system and the movie is allowed to not explain it because she is sick. Some would call it cheap or lazy but fuck it. Its happening and we sure as shit can't stop it. Anne's counterpart is Donnie Darko who's name I seriously can't remember but plays a shrewd self confident but approachable pharmaceutical rep who falls for Anne because she is....unconventional. Unconventional is really becoming my most hated trait. Right next to quirky and flippant. Because it really means "we got lazy and we are taking a shortcut to explain why the male lead values her over other identical female characters".

The story consists of Donnie trying to convince Anne to give him a real shot as a man in her life and not just a bang toy. One problem this movie had going for it is that it was billed as a smart comedy for adults. And I thought I would be in for one and really all it was was "She's All That" with tits and graphic fake fucking. I didn't catch the smart comedy part at all. It was a "give me a shot" "no give me a real shot" to "I know I fucked up but give me another shot" complete with...tits and fake fucking. Half way through the movie Donnie has intimacy problems to which Hathaway makes like 5 "your cock is soft" jokes over. I guess this is the adult part of the "smart adult comedy" because I'm not sure how her calling his dick limp really is all that challenging and intellectual. At some point the movie makes a push with comic relief with Donnie's roommate playing every Jonah Hill stereotype character that was pitched to him ever, he adds so little to the plot I wouldn't have remembered him if I didn't write down "not Jonah Hill". Now this is no knock on the actor. The kid in Zombieland did a good job and his instructions were pretty much "be the other kid from Superbad". I'd imagine this guy got the same yellow post it.

the entire movie is this convincing. the entire script and everything just......is frozen and posed and dull.


I'm not sure why this movie added such a long tail to itself. It was like watching a pigeon convince you it was a parrot. I know parrots. I mock them from time to time and this was no parrot. I think the creators of the story just wrote "smart adult comedy" on the wall and tried to back their way out of it. I'm not sure what happened but they had a strong cast between Darko and Hathaway and her perfect tits. They pretty much put a bowl of delicious Lucky Charms on a table along with cut up pineapple tidbits and expected everyone to delight in the combination. The glaring problem is though separately delightful combined the two items didn't work, or at least the jerk off who put them on a plate together didn't take the time to blend the two together with something delightful that would make the transition better, like....wow i picked two awful food items to start with. Nothing goes well with them. OK imagine I thought of a good metaphor with two food items that belong together but need a third to make them work together and forgetting that item makes the whole thing fucking silly. FUCK MY ASS LASAGNA!!!

Hathaway = meat
Darko = pasta
A good story line where they are actually likable characters that you want to see end up together instead of just have a 90 minute experience = cheese




But I think they just kind of assumed things would work out and the magic chemistry between the two would work out. The problem is other than being charming and looking like they're fake fucking I'm not sure that the two were ever in the same room together. Its like that Beatles album where they recorded their parts separately. If they wanted a good movie they shouldn't have started with the idea of "soft-core porn with a house subplot and when the audience needs a break from the fact these characters are doing nothing and not growing we will show them her tits". All in all you see Anne naked like 5-6 times, a smart twist for any movie. I can't think of a movie that wouldn't benefit from her pumping the rating to nc17, maybe Public Enemies, based solely on the fact that it'd make the movie longer.

I just realized I'm typing on my phone up to my face with my window shade open and when I move my phone I know a ghost is gonna be staring at me. I'm so fucking scared right now and for no reason.

she's so fun!

The writers suffered from Gilmore Girls disease too where the responses were too perfectly poignant and all anyone who wasn't Anne Hathaway did was pretty much lob her tennis ball set ups for her to mash with a metal bat 500 ft every time. It kills momentum of the script and after a while you begin to resent the girl you fell in love with. Not long into the movie Hathaway seems like an Oliver Twist character and less like a human, Hathatron's wit is too much, talking to her would be a fucking chore. Darko eventually gets back in her life after a Say Anything moment where he chases her bus(seriously a bus?) down and talks her into them for the 10th time. I'm not sure why we're supposed to believe in "this time" but I guess we are. I think true to character Anne is gonna run in 3 scenes all over again. He's already talked her out of running away like 10 times, what the fuck is the reason to fucking go on at this point?

I can't say enough about how attractive she is in this movie. At the end she cries about how she is dying and she doesn't wanna be a burden to anyone and she is legit beautiful and I hate to admit this but its actually quite meaningful. For her in the last 5 minutes to get me feel anything for a movie I sat through like it was a training film is really despicable. Its like the opposite of Law Abiding Citizen. In L.A.C. they take a good movie and in the final minutes throw it away almost on purpose. In this hunk of shit they spend the first 85 minutes trying on purpose to lose you and then in the final minutes they grab your heart and massage it with warmth and then put it back inside my skeptical miserable chest. It makes me think that if they really wrote a good script for her she completely different could've happened. I think she might be a great actress, she just seems to rather beat up easy scripts than be overwhelmed by difficult ones. In a perfect world we could switch Hathaway with Johansson. Anne could be in great movies where she is tested and integral. And Scarlet could play the same character a million times and still be able to be a celebrity.


oh shit i brought up scarlet so i get to do this

and now for something completely similar.

did you guys know that the jets in the turlets face the other way in Australia and thats why the water goes in a different direction?


so...The Prestige


I'm gonna say less than flattening things about this movie but rest assured it was very good.

The Prestige is one of those movies everyone told me was tremendous and I never saw it. I miss a lot of movies that everyone liked. I never saw Memento or The Social Network, and I honestly have convinced myself I'm not missing much, I've never seen The Prestige and I feel like I have been missing an incredible amount. But alas finally I remembered the movie existed not knowing who was in it or really what it was about and as I watch it I slowly realize this movie has just about every actor I've ever hated in it ever. Seriously look at those names up there, they are a Travolta and a Jolie away from me hitting the eject button with my cock helmet.

I hate when I recognize actors from other movies especially when they act similarly or more to the point do nothing to just fit into the movie and instead remind me I am watching lights on a screen. Whenever I see Robin Wright Penn I never think "oh thats Jenny" or "its the Princess Bride broad". She isn't a character actor but she's incredibly recognizable and always fits into whatever she is in seamlessly. Anyways Defense attorney for Christian Bale is Robin from Cheers/the Sheriff of Rottingham from Robin Hood men in Tights in it. And just before he completely undoes my suspension of reality combination lock. Michael Caine says "The Prestige" but not in passing, he says it like "THA PRAH-STEEEEEEEJ" and its just such a declarative sentence that the whole fucking screen might as well have said it. Background characters and extras should've dropped what they were doing like it was a song and dance routine. So already I can't help but constantly think "I'm watching a movie called The Prestige with people I know aren't real".

Speaking of Michael Caine. I've never been around for when Michael Caine was a great actor. Every time I see him in a movie he borders on dreadful. I saw him in A Bridge Too Far and The Man Who Would Be King and those were OK. Its just that I've had a lifetime of him being in Jaws 2, On Deadly Ground(a Steven Seagal movie), Austin Powers, and Get Carter. I'm starting to convince myself that Caine is a credited and talented thespian much in the way that everyone is convinced that Angelina Jolie is beautiful and sex....yeah we get it Jed she's a pig and everything sucks. Caine to me is such a dullard in every movie. Plus he's made so many dreadful ones. I keep expecting him to call someone a "chap" or "guvnah". But don't worry guys, Caine isn't alone in failing to be convincing in anyway.

Christian Bale joins Caine and Jude Law as British men who can't do English accents in period pieces. Hugh Jackman who is Australian does a better American accent than either of them can do Cockney English. Is Christian Bale a good actor? I hate to admit this but we're so far into me bashing good actors that I'm starting to be a fucking prick. And I've been teasing people with my "why Christian Bale isn't a good actor" piece but it'll have to wait. Because in this movie he's really really great outside of his accent. Thankfully he doesn't keep it through the entire film. In the beginning Bale sounds like Oliver Twiste grown up and by the middle of it he sounds exactly like how he did in Reign of Fire. Any problem I have with Bale throughout this movie gets completely overshadowed by HORRENDOUS acting by people around him. Most noticeably Scarlett Johansson Every role playing bit actor in it(cops, inmates, venue owners and especially the audience members) and Michael Cain.

In a nice surprise Jackman is actually great in this movie as well. Hugh plays two deeper roles with different motivations backgrounds and accents more convincingly than Johansson could approach playing one not entirely important woman. At one point Bale visits Johansson and by now you know something is up, maybe not that there are 3 Bale's but at the very least that silliness is a foot. Bale's wife who is great in this movie (despite me trashing her in Vicky Christina Barcelona and ironically unlike Scarlett) is upset with Bale and knows shenanigans are afoot. Bale goes to Johansson and is obviously having complex thought and depth and is really doing a good job, or he did an ok job and just looked like a 3d painting of a glacier torn landscape with mountains and valleys compared to the flatness that is Scarlett Johansson.

Scarlett is just so fucking fishy on the screen and its not just this movie. She has no depth in any movie, her acting is the opposite of her tits. Thats a really uncreative sentence but I wanted to be able to post a picture of her and her tits in 8 lines so let it slide. She never plays animated, she's always distantly upset, or too sad to emote anything other than a drained melancholy. She is a fantastic model who for some reason is being filmed and asked to carry a story through words. She has like a 1930s beauty and set of cheekbones, she has big glassy eyes that have nothing behind them. She released a cd of cover songs and thats all she really is, a cover act of other peoples work redone just not as good. She would be an over qualified perfume add model but instead she is a lighthouse of distraction in a dark sea of a good movie.

can you guys feel the chemistry and sexual tension?!?!?!



David Bowie playing Tesla however makes me so happy however. He's one of my favorite musicians playing one of my favorite historic figures. In fact if I had to rank them
1 Charlemagne
2 Tesla
3 David Bowie
So even in doing so its such a fucking party I could smile for days.



Is everyone deadly serious about this movie? Its not bad at all. Its just like... I just think The Illusionist despite having a worse name and a more overdone performance by a supposed fantastic actor is so distracting its sickening. Paul Giammati literally eats the entire scenery up with his bad accent and diction. Its like someone stood behind me dropping pots and pans every time he talked. And its still much less of a clusterfuck than this movie. At times this movie is a bigger clusterfuck than The Watchmen.

I feel so bad when Jackman's wife dies, this has nothing to do with anything but theres just something so shitty about drowning. It turns out whoever came up with CPR really was a solid dude, apparently before the CPR all you can do is just shake the person and just slap the lips and cheek saying "come on". Is it a bloody common theme amongst magicians to have a wife die and not react whatsoever over it? Jesus fuck. I know thats the sad part that both wives die for their husbands act and the husbands both find themselves too consumed with their work to notice or really care later. But I mean seriously, Is there any possible way Hugh Jackman wouldn't be more crushed when his wife dies and he's destined to spend his life without female companion and with his assistant Michael Caine and various male help....oh.



This movies twist at the end is so fucking unforgiving for the rest of this movie it hurts. It adds such a weird element of fantasy that I wasn't even aware we were going to. It was basically like watching a period piece movie for instance like Cold Mountain, the entire time you understand the time line and where you are with the setting and the characters and then suddenly one of the characters uses a dragon to defeat their enemy's army. By the time it happens and you kind of think it might happen you're so fucking floored by it that you realize you couldn't trust anyone to begin with and you're completely disenfranchised by the entire thing.

The twist in The Illusionist is much more reasonable all be it independent of this movie still ridiculous. I really enjoyed the inside magicianary talk that went over my head and i read about after and then enjoyed in my second and third time watching it. First time through though it was harder to understand than the quantum subplot to the newer Bond movies, to the point where I had to text someone I knew saw this movie to ask "what the fuck is going on". I like movies that are difficult to watch and involves contemplation during and after, but when you think that the entire audience has strong 19th century ties to entertainers and more specifically magicians then you're pretty much just showing your dick to the audience to tell them how much bigger yours is.


not that it is.


seriously

When I think that Lucas was going to direct Apocalypse Now it makes me nauseous. I think of an alternate world where Apocalypse sucked and Star Wars was great.

jersey the 2nd exit.

I was wrong about Jwow. I hate feta cheese peanuts and chocolate and I've always been right about that. However. Jwow appears to be back in a big way. Whoever fixed Sammi's tits in the off season must have talked to Jwow because she's primed for a great season for several reasons!

1 New tits! Still horrendous, she still clomps around like a fucking clydesdale and walks like fucking frankenstein. But she's mixing it up! and thats what was needed right? she was more stale than me coming up with analogies.

2 She's battling with boyfriend which means she's on pace to embarrass him and her via fucking. Probably by fucking random people and maybe not so random. Maybe Ronnie? I'm hoping just to run Sammi off. Either way she'll either cheat on him. Which means either she will tell him and fall out. Or not so we can all roll our eyes. OR! She will blow up the relationship before they go out on a specific yet incredibly embarrassing mission for cock and THEN go back to him.

3 She's already throwing right crosses GRANTED she's missing wildly like every broad but she's still throwing them. She even took the fake punch set up and went with it.

4 New attitude. I think she's been humbled like I would humble all of you in 2002 NHL hitz. I hope she's been broken. There's always the possibility she's been spoken to by the producers about what a total fucking drag she was last year to watch. The most likely is that she watched the show and saw how fucking awful she came across. Either way she seems more personable and belonging to the crew. Maybe the millions of undeserved dollars she gets off of Snooki and Mikey's work.


back to this.

Its fun having my friends back. I see Situations awful clothes and Vinny's broken smile and Paulie's I've grown out of this haircut but I still need to have it otherwise I lose my gimmick face. I realize I have my friends back. Mikes already a scum bag, Paulie is already completely underestimating the producer created hostility and is completely shocked by everything, and Vinny is....still likable? He's useless but I love him.

Ronnie is back full force and just when I thought we were stuck in a bad Ronnie and Sammi I love you cause you're my girlfriend rut; he goes and saves the best for last like Vanessa Williams. The Sammi and Ronnie vs Snooki Deena and Jwow is amazing. Its like The Road Warriors vs Demolition. It already yielded what I assume will be the line of the season and to me the best quote of the two follow up seasons.

"You're a loser from Poughkeepsie and everyone knows it".

I've not yet begun to defile myself.

Now admittedly I love reality tv, and like all reality fans I'm a fan of The Jersey Shore and I have my favorites and I have my villains in the show. I never misunderstand the purpose of villains in the show and for me I can't stand Angelina and the reasoning is well understood and there is no reason to get into it. Everyone on the show is polarizing except for Vinny he's generally purposeless but likable and in the very least ate shit with that girl in Miami in front of all of us on tv making us all feel better about ourselves. Plus Vinny plays the straight man that everyone thinks isn't a complete wretch. So that just leaves Jwow.

You look at the girls. Each one of them has brought something to the show. Snooki is a mess who got decked. Sammi though a fucking pylon in the first season has become the person we all laugh at. Angelina started all out wars in the house. Which is the most underrated part of any hose beast on a reality show. She started panic in the house and I'll always want her back for that. Plus she fucked and was a total slob. When you look at Jwow there is no shit stirring. The only thing she brings to the show is the weekly shot of her adjusting her tits in the mirror. Now it may seem like I can only knock Jwow for being boring but theres so much more. She carries just about all of the show's short comings on her tremendously hilarious to look at masculine shoulders.

One thing that Jwow does that's definitely a negative is she gets Snooki out of the house and goes to eat monster salads. This seclusion of Snooki kills things. It rarely leads to anything other than that letter to Sammi that everyone thought was fake. When you take Snooki away from Mike Paul and Vinnie it just means less time for the 4 most camera valuable people together. Addition by subtraction. Unlike her horrendous tits. Which was subtraction by addition. Its like when Metallica finally got rid of Burton via that staged bus accident and brought in Newstead and then "accidently" released their best album. ...And Justice For My Ears!

With new self aware Jwow she doesn't go out as much, she lays in her bed every other night now and just calls him and even 30 second excerpts of their discussions are so vapid and boring that I can't imagine what they're editing out. When she doesn't go out theres nothing to laugh at anymore. She's not shouting at people, she's not fighting anyone or a part of any nightly hijinx. She certainly isn't fucking anyone so I can laugh at how like Angelina and Snooki she will meet someone and advertise to the world that she fucks after meeting you in a club on a fucking TV show where MILLIONS of people watch. Jwow to me is the most self aware of herself next to Mikey, the difference is that Mikey plays it up and acts like a shithead so people will watch.

Another thing about Jwow is she's just embarrassing. She has horrendous fake tits. I have recently had an experience with fake tits, now this has no bearing on this post but I just wanted to brag about touching boobies.
two balls of dull horseshit. She also looks like DanziFUCK THERES A SPIDER ON MY LEG no its my phone charger...Danzig. oooooof.

She talks about herself and her clothing line like anyone is interested. In the first episode of the new season she and Snooki were in a lingerie store and she holds something up and says "this is so my style I need this on my line". I fucking groaned at home. She sells herself constantly, she makes horrendous public appearances including fucking wrestling on SpikeTV. SpikeTV couldn't get any worse than it already was, so they grabbed the least compelling shore member.
this is in no way any more embarrassing than anything Angelina ever did on tv


But at least there she won a fight. Which is more than you can say about her at the house. Fucking girl sells herself as Chuck Lidell, and then in her one chance to drop bombs comes annnnnnd what happens? AT BEST a draw. Thats best case. I think she lost. My friend Vin insists it was a tie. But I don't see it. Fight started by Sammi, only clean shots landed? Sammi. Embarrassing post fight water bottle save face attempt but in reality announce yourself as the bitter loser? Jwow. It would be one thing to come on the show and sell yourself as Clubber Lang and then lose to Snooki, we all know she can take a punch. Maybe Angelina, Maybe. But Sammi? Sammi was really bad to lose to on top of things because the entire world pitied her for what was going on with Ronnie. When you lose to a victim you look like an even bigger loser.

Not sold yet? OK. Jwow smokes Newports. That in it of itself is unforgivable. She refuses to either be the joke or be a part of the joke consistently. So what the fuck are you then? You're on a white water raft refusing to fall off for the hilarity purpose or fucking paddle to move the raft along. If she was on Wild N Crazy Kids she'd be the timid to get wet/covered in whatever fluid is in the water balloons the kids are dropping and she is fucking costing the yellow team!

Another major problem is this show won't film for 2 months ever again. Thats a problem for the entire cast but it goes back to her. The kids all want 6 figures for 2 weeks now. So they have to take so much less time to make 10 episodes out of and there's just not enough content when people like Jwow do nothing for an entire season besides gets stomped on in a fight and then fake break up with her boyfriend. Her boyfriend by the way no one knows anything about. So its like a sitcom character breaking up with their extra/bit player spouse and expecting the audience to react. We don't know Jwow the girlfriend so who gives a shit if she is single or not. We know her as Jwow the hot mess who I'm supposed to look at and feel better about myself. Also i can't help but notice if Jwow and Snooki were combined they would be Amber from Teenage Moms.

The reunion was a miserable failure. If there is no fight it shouldn't be aired. I hate reunions mostly for the "stuff we didn't show" part. Which is ALWAYS filled with shit I would've rather seen than every 2nd and 5th episode of the season. "stuff we didn't show" is code for stuff we couldn't obviously edit into filling in one of our lacking episodes and it took place during one where we had too much going on. Copy pasting is always a show's friend but the producers obviously panicked last off season and added a firecracker shithead to the cast to make up for the loss of Angelina. The new broad by the way is also a friend of Snooki, they're trying so hard to separate Snooki from Jwow so fucking hard its like when HBK had to split with Jannety back in the early 90s. Snooki needs to throw Jwow through the barbershop window and go her own way. Except Jwow isn't Jannety, she's fucking Chyna with more questionable genitalia situation. She looks like an intimidating Bond Villain chief henchmen, in a Pierce Brosnan Bond movie by the way. Because she sucks and so does he. They should get married have kids and fucking suffocate them.

Jwow is the dude from Hurt Locker to Mtv's awesome-bomb. If the Jersey Shore was a Slip N' Slide or Crocodile Mile, Jwow would be the mom yelling from inside the house "THATS ENOUGH WATER" thanks mom. I guess theres such a thing as too much fun. Way to scale it back for me. Now I can't pretend I'm sliding into second base or diving into a foxhole to avoid the robot missile you piece of shit. Go fuck yourself and let me enjoy my made up world and stop drying up my fucking C-mile.


nope one more.

If Mtv had a great plan to sneak off some dinosaur dna inside a barbosal can to sell it off to Dodson when Hammond got cheap on them, Jwow would be the tropical storm killing your 15 minute window, the knocked over road sign, the waterfall and of course the Dilophosaurus waiting in Mtv's jeep for Mtv to get back in it and try the whole thing a 3rd time. And she is going to end up fucking killing them.

Inception

I knew I was in a lot of trouble when in the first 10 minutes of a movie they pull a mini-twist and reveal dream dimensions can be a part of someone else's dream dimension. It would be like watching the never ending story and Atreyu picks up a book and gets all deep in it while riding Falcor's back. By that point you feel really silly. So I move forward in this moving taking every step completely weary that everything may be a dream and I feel like I'm being tested and not watching a movie. Its like a 148 minute highlights magazine find whats wrong in this picture puzzle and whats worse is I'm watching this with a girl and I don't wanna look like an asshole when I don't know whats going on because if this girl has to explain shit to me how can I expect her to fuck me after?

I didn't dislike this movie these writers the direction and obviously not the effects or cinematography but when a movie has the benefit of an alternate consequence free reality like a dream world or a matrix then I feel like nothing in the movie matters anymore. It just seems like I'm not worried about the main characters and what could happen to them in any situation because they could just wake up. Also for me it tends to kill every bit of immersion I could have in the movie. That's not a knock on the movie. But its my take on things so I'm sticking with it. I just find it hard to take any reality seriously after that. Imagine watching Indiana Jones where the boulder would just wake him up or Brody could just splash Jones with water if the Nazis were about to Luftwaffe him and his dad out of the sky?

Then Juno showed up and the movie and she brings in an element of quirky humor which is perfect because I don't think Leonardo DiCaprio is capable of humor. He's a fantastic actor and maybe he just has honestly never given it a go but I'm starting to think he's just void of it. I still think Juno's best movie still is Xmen3 by the way. And that's the worst X men movie. Unless you count the wolverine movie. By the way do you think if I dream that Hugh Jackman was straight my brain would fry in my skull based on the over-clocking it would take to keep all those plates spinning at once. If my mind is a XBox it would take a super pi infinite decimal calculating computer to keep up that charade.




Seriously how mad is Nolan and the writer that no one can watch this movie without thinking about the stupid Matrix. If its of any condolence to Nolan I wish I didn't see it either. At least that way bullet time physics in movies wouldn't be so stale and tired to me. I hate that there is also the dream pain becomes real pain.

Also another way to take me out of a movie is saying the name of the movie in the script. This movie has done it multiple times. When DiCaprio says "inception" I can't help but think "oh yeah he's an actor this is a movie". I felt the same way earlier in the movie when he was pulling himself up a building via a rope. I instantly realized "oh this is a stupid movie" when I saw that.

Casting of this movie:

So I guess Juno is in this movie plays narrator. All she does is ask questions for benefit of the viewer. They should have her go a step further and do the credits with Levitt and DiCaprio. Who was the executive producer? Who catered? Where was the movie filmed?

Oh and he cast the Scarecrow from the good batman movie. He's really off putting and eery to even look at. Plus the whole "is this a subplot to something Scarecrow is doing in the Gotham Knight world" is always a nice little game to play even if its fucking chaotically stupid and based in nothing. As nonsensical as my idea is I still would enjoy it.

I feel like I've seen this Asian guy a million time. I keep thinking he's Chow Yun Fat but that's not the case and in all honesty thats pretty racist of me to begin with. I'll imdb him later for a nice little treat. Good job in casting British John Hamm, I guess men weren't handsome enough give him an accent and I couldn't be more inadequate. The addition of Joseph Gordon Levitt makes me think this movie was cast by any girl I've ever dated reading a list called "guys I would throw Jed off a fucking bridge for". Michael Cain in this movie is just useless its almost like the movie is bragging by having him in here. Nolan does that. Oldman, Cain, and Freeman all playing roles in the batman series that were so plain and emotion and uninvolved that Angelina Jolie could've played them and the movie wouldn't have fallen apart despite her massive void of talent.

Jesus Christ Beringer is in this movie? OK! I'm taking it serious now! ONE SHOT ONE KILL! I'm all in! Tommy-gun is so underrated as an actor its a stand out. Especially in a blog where some fan boy does nothing but call shit overrated. This French lady playing DiCaprio's too complicated for me to describe at this points wife is beautiful. I mean for me she is. If I was Leonardo DiCaprio she would be blowing the guy who washed my cars. Oh hey the Asian guy is from the good batman movie and the Last of the Samurai to Dance With Wolves. Now recognizing him is far less impressive and reeeeeally racist.

ok back to the movie

Its amazing how scary DiCaprio's Frenchy wife is. And this is whats rad about this movie in a sense that she's just a person no powers or a chainsaw or anything and she is really intimidating. She's a great actress too. I saw that french movie she won the oscar for and she was well deserving. A big problem I have with this however is the fact that her ability as an actress in this movie only makes me out and out despise Public Enemies for being such a piss poor emulsion of great acting great script and such piss poor execution. This is why I guess I'll say Nolan is a very good director. He had the Public Enemies set up and didn't Michael Mann it.

Also why does DiCaprio have like a 7 men team? Are all these people necessary? This is just confusing and it just keeps screaming that some people are gonna die but we couldn't commit to it being a main character AND that someone is gonna screw someone else over. Remember earlier when I said Juno was bringing in some sort of humor into the movie? Well ol' sour puss Leo has pretty much washed this movie of that. Leo always plays a dude with some rough edges. Or at least he does in the movies I've seen him in and am thinking of now. I wonder if Leo could ever play a dude in control who doesn't have cold sweats from a tortured past?

Anyways I don't wanna spoil the movie or whatever for those who haven't seen it. If you haven't know that you're ruining the point of my blog with the "movies you already saw" title. The final climax is actually 4 climaxes at once, so i guess for lack of better terms this was a good film. Suffice to say it is bitter sweet and the ending is confusing and the twists are silly and all benefit GREATLY from the complex dream with in a dream with in a dream with in a dream scenario the movie has been set up as to having. A lot like a safety net. The movie in its own way is a lot like Pan's Labyrinth. I have no idea really what the fuck happened and what was a dream and what wasn't but I know everyone expects me to like it and somehow care about it.

And I think I do. Maybe. All I know is I really enjoy Ellen Page and I'm not sure why.