x-meh

a real quick one because its agonizing when the two longer column opinion thingies whatevers I've written in the last 2 weeks have been about comic book movies but I saw the new X-men movie and it was definitely a movie. Anyways they had a cameo of Wolverine in the movie and he tells Charles and Eric to "go fuck yourselves" and I was in the theater enjoying the movie when I thought to myself:

Why is wolverine allowed to be wolverine in this movie and Hugh Jackman in others? He is horrendous in the Wolverine movie and then in this movie in 8 seconds they actually get the character that Wolverine should be and would be if Hugh Jackman wasn't producing the movies. Hugh got the rights to make the movie and just made a sappy bad convoluted movie with random characters in a slapdash story line where like in every movie with a huge let down of a failure, the voiceless nemesis of the entire movie was introduced 20 seconds before the final confusing fight scene, after a bad twist that came 10 minutes after another bad twist.

When you make a movie building up on a villain and a dead wife murdered and in the final 10 minutes of the movie you reveal that the wife wasn't dead and the murderer of the wife really was a good guy just before a big fight with laser beam eyed ninjas you have successfully fucked a movie up in such a silly way that i assume that instead of cum you had to have shot fish heads out of a dick wearing pilot goggles.

A big mistake I made was I forgot that Hugh Jackman COULD play Wolverine, He just hasn't gotten the chance. Part his fault, part FOX, part the over praised Bryan Singer, part writers, part a million other things NO ONE including me should give a shit about. My lack of seeing movies like The Fountain and The Prestige allowed me to forget that Hugh Jackman is a good actor and I can't believe it based on only seeing him in the X-men movies, and of course...Swordfish. A movie that was so gay that it will be in the next real world cast saying "picked to live in a houthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh".




As for the movie.

If you're like me and you loved the first class comics well throw that all away, and any Xmen knowledge, or any reference in the first 3 movies where Xavier says Scott and Jean were his first students. But unlike other fanmen I'm not upset about it, its a movie, if I wanted the comic I'd read the comic.

It was a really good cast aside from January Jones outside of her tits. It was ok, and widescreen, I suggest sitting in the back, I don't know who shot this fucking thing but he got every inch out of the screen. Fuck it. January Jones keeps the streak alive of Mad Men characters completely sucking in movie roles. I realize saying January Jones wasn't a good actress in _______ is about as shocking as Hugh Jackman liking dry humping and rubbing 5 o'clock shadows.



But between Sterling, Jones and Draper these guys are becoming the ER and NYPD blue of the 2010s. When it comes to striking out in big screen roles. I hold judgement for Christina Hendricks because I feel like she's good enough of an actress where she can suspend the audience's belief in any sort of a storyliAHHAHAHAHAHA TITS.nice dress dick