confessions of a reasonably safe mind

I have a confession. some of the best movies of the year are being released currently and this is when Oscar films are being pushed and i live with in reasonable driving distance of at least 20 theaters that show legit non-major release films that people would line up to see. movies that will be talked about for "best" of the year. and i went out by myself and saw "We Bought a Zoo".

I'm 28.

Anyway Matt is just great in about anything he is slowly becoming my answer for "who should play" over now too old Gary Oldman. Also its not really advantageous of me to tell you that Matt Damon is a good actor its a communal opinion that he is great or at least very very good and people who think otherwise are just fools.

ONWARD!!!!!!!!

I went into the movie wanting to have a good time. and then in the opening credits to my dismay and honest surprise Scarlett Johansson is in the movie. And it no longer became a movie I was trying to enjoy. The movie became my adversary and I officially wasted my 12$ on the ticket, I walked into the movie wanting to be happy and wanted to not think about much. Not like I'm stressed or I am miserable(jk) but since I don't have nostalgia for terrible 80s movies save 10 or so my rainy days are spent watching new movies. In this case one I wanted to like everyone in it. And I was refused entry to the party.

FUCK.

Septic and apoplectic I drudged on with my mind already made up. So we start the movie....and Matt Damon's wife dies. Fuck... already? He buys a house, surprise the house comes with a catch, you'll never guess what. Here is why I can never be taken seriously. At no point did I get into the movie, no fault to the movie, it actually was very pleasant looking, the sun was yellow the landscapes though limited were quite nice and generally I liked everything I took in visually. Until of course her.

this is pretty much what she did to the movie.

Doughy and boring Scarlett eats up the scenes she is in by not fitting in. She is unconnected to who she is in the movie. Its like the Mars Attacks alien dressed as a woman waving around looking at things and NOT STICKING OUT AT ALL. I don't mean to be a dick but Damon has a daughter in this movie who will go on to be better actress than Scarlett. That's not an insult, I'm just convinced whoever the girl is in this movie will win an award(s) in my lifetime.

Thomas Hayden Church and Dakota Fanning's sister are both in this movie as well. There is a sea of talent in this movie surrounding the desert island that is Johansson. They're so good and it really made up for the completely miscast Johansson; that's not just me calling her miscast because I dislike her. She really isn't the character she was supposed to be. She was cast as a girl who's looks aren't the focal part of her character. And that's shallow and all I know but its just what it is. She plays the Zoo worker who is just there. She's the learning curve for Matt and the stability and transition and whatever. She played the cohesion of the movie. And her inadequacy is such a sore thumb that its a discredit to everything I took in.

Now I know people insist she can act, not many, but until it shows up why not have her skip the roles written ideally for talented actresses who don't have to show side tit to not be acceptable for the fucking role? No one forced Yasmine Bleath into roles where she isn't praised and just looked at. If Scarlett is just the girl at the zoo than the zoo is on fucking Mars. We bought a zoo, with Natasha Henstridge. Basically the movie dropped a tuna in the middle of the screen and everyone had to walk around it and pretend it was just part of the carpet.

your average zoo keeper.

Cameron Crowe does nothing for me honestly. I never made it all the way through Almost Famous, no fault to the movie I just was never pulled in enough while its been on cable to finish it. I hated Jerry McGuire and Vanilla Sky and I honestly thought Tom Cruise was great in both of those movies. He should just be a music director for a film because he picks good soundtracks, but even then you can just google "safe classic rock songs" and you can fill it in just as well as he does. This will probably be written down as my favorite Cameron Crowe movie. But with no real second place its kind of like my favorite Duncan Jones movies. First place would be Moon, and I haven't seen Source Code, so.......

this wasn't a really funny review. but whatever.

also a girl I know has a facebook status of this....
"College is not for me. I need to travel the world and help the less fortunate. That's a better learning experience than spending thousands to learn stuff you can read about online."