Wow. Billy Crystal is awful. I hope he doesn't sing a song. And he went right into a song. Who wants this? Who sits around wanting this? The best acting job of the night was Brad Pitt laughing at the song. The best make up job was whoever doused Crystal's hair with soy sauce.
I just realized now the kind of collusion behind not nominating Zombieland for best actress. It really was just an excuse to nominate a black actress. Not to launch on a race diatribe but why not just nominate Columbiana too?
Wow. Tom Hanks has a cool dad beard. He looks ridiculous. Everyone has glasses. Tribute to the lamest movies ever.
Jennifer Lopez and Cameron Diaz out to present the award for the two people I hate the most in the building. And then tried to make it about themselves. Gross fucking humans. Now they just tried to be funny, and to give them credit it was as funny as anything they could possibly do, which is miserably unfunny. Their personal assistant staff deserve a nomination for the job they undoubtedly did back stage acting like they were hilarious.
Morgan Freeman has a hilarious earring. Why is Adam Sandler here? Why is Ben Stiller here? Why is Reese Witherspoon here? Why is Tom Cruise here?
Sandra Bullock looks gWHY IS PUFF DADDY THERE?!? Nice to see a movie from Iran win best foreign. If for nothing else but to see a room full of Jewish people be uncomfortable. He's talking about peace, is he kidding?
Nick Nolte has a fucking spray tan.
Christian Bale is reading like he was a fucking police officer reading the report in the court room. And the award goes to the black lady for being black. Oh well. I'm 0-1. Angelina Jolie's lips are red and she looks like a Robert Palmer video ho. George Clooney is there with the 3rd manager for The Dudley Boyz.
The editing award went to the movie that lasted way too fucking long. Is that one of The Flight of the Concords guy? I can't figure it out... he looks like one, he just tried a joke and it wasn't funny and people laughed, has to be him.
Cirque du soleil guy just fell down and I think it's all a joke. Craziest thing maybe ever and one guy falls. Suck a dick circus. Chris Rock is hilarious.
Christopher Plumber. 1-2. There we go. Nick Nolte looks like Santa clause. Billy Crystal is drowning. He did the rewind joke. Yikes. Angelina Jolie has a 7head and she covered up her lol waitress tattoos.
Woody deserved to win for best screenplay He wrote a great movie it just sucks it didn't turn out well. Holy lol why is Milla Jovovich there? Did she agree to do a voice over? ahh.. cue: voice over.
Streep takes it down, I'm 1-3. This is getting ugly, what the fuck was I thinking? The Help lady must be sad losing her one nomination to a woman who should have 20 stupid trophies.
So the lead from The Artist won? Ok it's a lock for best picture now. Oh well. I can't 100% say it shouldn't win. I enjoyed Moneyball more and I think Extremely Loud and The Descendants are better movies.
And yeah, there it is...The Artist wins, I'm a pussy for picking The Descendants. Oh well. 1-5, pretty bad. oh well.
rantings of a person who has no reason to be as sure of himself as he is.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Best Movie
Hugo Haven't seen it but it seems to me to be a tribute to the great old movies that everyone seems to have forgotten about and the wonder of losing yourself in the beauty of cinema, so I give it an F, for fuck this movie.
The Tree of Life HAHAHAHAHAHA
War Horse This will be the first of two movies where I think the director has just lost his fastball and is now being nominated based solely on name recognition, the difference being I think that Woody Allen deserves to be nominated on his name and Spielberg needs to take a nice long walk and think about his last few movies and the effect they've had on the world and wonder how long he has been an irrelevant boring old man who can't tell a story anymore. Spielberg directed some of my most favorite movies, and my most favorite movie, and over the last few years really has done nothing anyone should make it a point to see, and this Disney movie is no exception, its an animal movie with a war torn country side spin. It goes for the cheap emotional moves over and over and I mean if this movie was directed by the guy who did the Chronicle of Narnia movies I'm convinced it wouldn't even have been submitted to the academy for consideration.
The Help What a dreadful fucking movie. Its a new Driving Miss Daisy. I don't know, maybe I'm just a miserable bigot but I know when a movie is done well its great, and when its not it just feels like an after school special. I understand there is a plight and all but when you do a movie that relies on the struggle of the race to be the emotional and its just kind of doing what every other movie like it does, with no real exception. So yeah, its no worse than the worst of those movies, but its certainly not better than the best of them. I guess overwrought would be my word to describe this movie. Its Forrest Gump, its saccharine, its just whatever. This is the best movie made for moms and 14 year old girls ever.
Midnight in Paris
I love Woody Allen but if anyone else directed this movie no one would ever have nominated this movie, its no better than Weekend With Marilyn and honestly is just another bad later day Woody Allen movie, and it sucks to say it but whatever, I'm not one of those assholes who thinks he has to make another Manhattan for me to take him seriously but this is the discussion for best picture and this movie does not belong here. Owen Wilson has been slammed by everyone for his job in this movie and no one else makes up for him.
Moneyball I didn't enjoy any other nominated movie like I did Moneyball. I guess I'm just holding it back because it was a baseball movie about 2 characters with out any real conflict and the transition happened in the first 7 minutes of the movie, it was basically like if Ghostbusters started and before the credits ended they had a firehouse and particle accelerators. And there was nothing to wait for really, I guess I'm just scaling it back because I know it wasn't the best movie, and I just absolutely love Brad Pitt and baseball and the book by Michael Lewis on which this is based on.
The Artist I liked this movie a lot, and I remember watching it and thinking, there is no fucking way I'm going to let people call this movie overrated. Then it started to clean up award shows and people are calling it the front runner for the Oscar, and now I have to say it, slow down. It was a gorgeous movie, definitely deserves it for direction and cinematography. The move was an absolute joy to sit through. But it just was that, a great experience to sit through, I am hesitant to call it the best movie because it really wasn't. I don't think it was better than Moneyball or Extremly Loud & Incredibly Close, I just think in 5 years more people will remember this movie as important than those two.
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close Yeah this movie was fucking sad. And not cheap sad like Warhorse, I don't know what Sandra Bullock and this kid did wrong to not get nominations, the movie was basically spent on their shoulders after Hanks left in the beginning and scarce flashbacks through out. I had no idea that Bullock could act, I thought she was marginal in The Blind Side, and I would clearly say this role is significantly better. She dies in this movie but stays on screen alive after her husband is killed, I actually see the grief in her that I see in people I know personally who have had spouses die. The movie around her is terrific, the kid in this movie had the performance that I'm convinced would rocket him into fame like every other kid had after a role like this. This movie was what Pay it Forward thought it was going to be. I've read depth reviews from actual humans who understand movies and they say the cinematography and direction on this movie was not tremendous, but I mean, even if it was as bad as any George Lucas movie, I didn't notice it, but I don't notice that shit.
The Descendants I don't know, I do not believe in this pick like I thought I would when I ranked these over the last week. I just don't want to pick The Artist, and I know Moneyball won't win it was either this and I don't want to pick the movie I saw yesterday in Extremely Close. So yeah heres me pussying out and picking the movie I think had the best script. Can anyone explain to me how the other other maid from The Help got nominated over Clooney's daughter in this movie? I guess it wasn't hard to make this movie beautiful, you could frame a movie anywhere in Hawaii and get either the ocean, a mountain or a sunset and it would look gorgeous. Its like where they shot the movie Shane or The Ox-Bow incident. Just film somewhere gorgeous and people will think you did a tremendous job. I liked this movie a great deal, and the story was brilliant and no one in it did anything less than a very good job. I think Clooney deserves a serious look at for actor and I think Payne deserves the Oscar for screenplay and directing, but I have a loose grip on writing credits and none on directing, I can just figure out when the movie looks like piss, and this movie was the opposite. The directing Oscar should be his for no other reason than him being snubbed for About Schmidt and honestly for Sideways too. Both movies better than the movies that won it (Million Dollar Baby and Chicago)
Eventually I'm going to make my top 10, why did this movie win over these movies list, but I can just spoil it now, Forest Gump, Chicago, Crash, and Braveheart are all paper champs.
The Tree of Life HAHAHAHAHAHA
War Horse This will be the first of two movies where I think the director has just lost his fastball and is now being nominated based solely on name recognition, the difference being I think that Woody Allen deserves to be nominated on his name and Spielberg needs to take a nice long walk and think about his last few movies and the effect they've had on the world and wonder how long he has been an irrelevant boring old man who can't tell a story anymore. Spielberg directed some of my most favorite movies, and my most favorite movie, and over the last few years really has done nothing anyone should make it a point to see, and this Disney movie is no exception, its an animal movie with a war torn country side spin. It goes for the cheap emotional moves over and over and I mean if this movie was directed by the guy who did the Chronicle of Narnia movies I'm convinced it wouldn't even have been submitted to the academy for consideration.
The Help What a dreadful fucking movie. Its a new Driving Miss Daisy. I don't know, maybe I'm just a miserable bigot but I know when a movie is done well its great, and when its not it just feels like an after school special. I understand there is a plight and all but when you do a movie that relies on the struggle of the race to be the emotional and its just kind of doing what every other movie like it does, with no real exception. So yeah, its no worse than the worst of those movies, but its certainly not better than the best of them. I guess overwrought would be my word to describe this movie. Its Forrest Gump, its saccharine, its just whatever. This is the best movie made for moms and 14 year old girls ever.
Midnight in Paris
I love Woody Allen but if anyone else directed this movie no one would ever have nominated this movie, its no better than Weekend With Marilyn and honestly is just another bad later day Woody Allen movie, and it sucks to say it but whatever, I'm not one of those assholes who thinks he has to make another Manhattan for me to take him seriously but this is the discussion for best picture and this movie does not belong here. Owen Wilson has been slammed by everyone for his job in this movie and no one else makes up for him.
Moneyball I didn't enjoy any other nominated movie like I did Moneyball. I guess I'm just holding it back because it was a baseball movie about 2 characters with out any real conflict and the transition happened in the first 7 minutes of the movie, it was basically like if Ghostbusters started and before the credits ended they had a firehouse and particle accelerators. And there was nothing to wait for really, I guess I'm just scaling it back because I know it wasn't the best movie, and I just absolutely love Brad Pitt and baseball and the book by Michael Lewis on which this is based on.
The Artist I liked this movie a lot, and I remember watching it and thinking, there is no fucking way I'm going to let people call this movie overrated. Then it started to clean up award shows and people are calling it the front runner for the Oscar, and now I have to say it, slow down. It was a gorgeous movie, definitely deserves it for direction and cinematography. The move was an absolute joy to sit through. But it just was that, a great experience to sit through, I am hesitant to call it the best movie because it really wasn't. I don't think it was better than Moneyball or Extremly Loud & Incredibly Close, I just think in 5 years more people will remember this movie as important than those two.
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close Yeah this movie was fucking sad. And not cheap sad like Warhorse, I don't know what Sandra Bullock and this kid did wrong to not get nominations, the movie was basically spent on their shoulders after Hanks left in the beginning and scarce flashbacks through out. I had no idea that Bullock could act, I thought she was marginal in The Blind Side, and I would clearly say this role is significantly better. She dies in this movie but stays on screen alive after her husband is killed, I actually see the grief in her that I see in people I know personally who have had spouses die. The movie around her is terrific, the kid in this movie had the performance that I'm convinced would rocket him into fame like every other kid had after a role like this. This movie was what Pay it Forward thought it was going to be. I've read depth reviews from actual humans who understand movies and they say the cinematography and direction on this movie was not tremendous, but I mean, even if it was as bad as any George Lucas movie, I didn't notice it, but I don't notice that shit.
The Descendants I don't know, I do not believe in this pick like I thought I would when I ranked these over the last week. I just don't want to pick The Artist, and I know Moneyball won't win it was either this and I don't want to pick the movie I saw yesterday in Extremely Close. So yeah heres me pussying out and picking the movie I think had the best script. Can anyone explain to me how the other other maid from The Help got nominated over Clooney's daughter in this movie? I guess it wasn't hard to make this movie beautiful, you could frame a movie anywhere in Hawaii and get either the ocean, a mountain or a sunset and it would look gorgeous. Its like where they shot the movie Shane or The Ox-Bow incident. Just film somewhere gorgeous and people will think you did a tremendous job. I liked this movie a great deal, and the story was brilliant and no one in it did anything less than a very good job. I think Clooney deserves a serious look at for actor and I think Payne deserves the Oscar for screenplay and directing, but I have a loose grip on writing credits and none on directing, I can just figure out when the movie looks like piss, and this movie was the opposite. The directing Oscar should be his for no other reason than him being snubbed for About Schmidt and honestly for Sideways too. Both movies better than the movies that won it (Million Dollar Baby and Chicago)
Eventually I'm going to make my top 10, why did this movie win over these movies list, but I can just spoil it now, Forest Gump, Chicago, Crash, and Braveheart are all paper champs.
best ho
Glenn Close for Albert Nobbs (2011)
What a dreadful fucking movie this was. Stop it. Fuck you for even being here. Considering it didn't get nominated this will be my last time to bash this movie so I am going to take it. To act like anyone in this movie did anything worthy of any nomination is fucking absurd. This movie was so fucking dull, the supporting actress is the one who really went through a tough time, Albert is just an inconspicuous boring fop of a person who cross dressed to get a job. Close was good and all but moping is not a fucking class of acting, this basically was The Man Who Wasn't There except with a gender role spin. I guess this is the academy's nod to the gender issue crisis that some people have, but again, a woman pretending to be a man to be a fucking waiter is seriously more boring than it sounds.
Viola Davis for The Help (2011)
What a dreadful fucking movie this was. Was she even the lead? I though Zombieland girl was. Even so she played one of the two maids... I guess she was the more featured of the maids but... its a shitty movie. She was just the whatever lady in it, its a new Driving Miss Daisy, I don't know, maybe I'm just a miserable bigot but I know when a movie is done well its great, and when its not it just feels like an after school special. I also don't get how she qualifies as a best actress but Berenice Bejo doesn't? Anyone care to explain this to me? Berenice had WAY more screen time in her role and was infinitely better.
Rooney Mara for The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011) So yeah, She was the best part of this movie, I can't believe how good of an actor Bond 5.0 is and yeah this is where she should be. 3rd, she was great but yeah she was the show. I didn't really like this movie, and I'm not sure I met anyone who did.
Meryl Streep for The Iron Lady (2011) Meryl is the best actor/actress in the world and what sucks is she hasn't won an award since 1983 and has only won 2 awards. Which is mind-boggling considering since her last Oscar she's been nominated 12 times. So yes, I don't know much about Margaret Thatcher, from what I read she does a great job of impersonating her, which is great because the movie is worse than fucking paint drying, at least when paint dries something gets accomplished. I am to understand that Thatcher actually led an interesting life, but you can't tell by this movie, this would be like writing a biopic about J Edgar Hoover and having it be miserably boring and that's almost impossible to do.....fuck. I guess I'm front running with her, but whatever, she's the best in her breed and she deserves to win this Oscar...you know if it wasn't for the future Meryl Streep, Michelle Williams.
Michelle Williams for My Week with Marilyn (2011) For me to start a conversation about what could be the best Actress of the last 5 years and the next 20 years with Dawson's Creek is kind of hilariously disgusting. But I fucking knew she was a great actress since back in the day, and I always wanted to way fuck her over Katie Holmes... I'm even embarrassed for typing that. So lets actually discuss the role and movie she was in for the first time in this entire series of posts. This movie without Michelle Williams would be a fucking piece of shit. I guarantee you people thought this role should've gone to Scarlet Johanson because she looks a fuck ton more like Marilyn Monroe than Michelle Williams, but Kate Upton looks a lot more like Monroe than Williams, but she's a shit actress...and so is Johanson. This is movie is about her, and everything plays off her, there is no one else in this movie you even pay attention to. She deserves the Oscar like any player on a shitty team that carries their team to the playoffs deserves the MVP. Its funny how my two best Actress picks are from two really bland movies. But if someone else was cast as Thatcher I think it would still be boring and dry, but if someone else was cast as Monroe the movie would disintegrate into something no one could take seriously, like a step below that Ashley Judd Monroe movie. This movie would be an unnoticed farce of a production and the credibility it was given by Williams is immeasurable. I saw this movie based solely on her being in it.
What a dreadful fucking movie this was. Stop it. Fuck you for even being here. Considering it didn't get nominated this will be my last time to bash this movie so I am going to take it. To act like anyone in this movie did anything worthy of any nomination is fucking absurd. This movie was so fucking dull, the supporting actress is the one who really went through a tough time, Albert is just an inconspicuous boring fop of a person who cross dressed to get a job. Close was good and all but moping is not a fucking class of acting, this basically was The Man Who Wasn't There except with a gender role spin. I guess this is the academy's nod to the gender issue crisis that some people have, but again, a woman pretending to be a man to be a fucking waiter is seriously more boring than it sounds.
Viola Davis for The Help (2011)
What a dreadful fucking movie this was. Was she even the lead? I though Zombieland girl was. Even so she played one of the two maids... I guess she was the more featured of the maids but... its a shitty movie. She was just the whatever lady in it, its a new Driving Miss Daisy, I don't know, maybe I'm just a miserable bigot but I know when a movie is done well its great, and when its not it just feels like an after school special. I also don't get how she qualifies as a best actress but Berenice Bejo doesn't? Anyone care to explain this to me? Berenice had WAY more screen time in her role and was infinitely better.
Rooney Mara for The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011) So yeah, She was the best part of this movie, I can't believe how good of an actor Bond 5.0 is and yeah this is where she should be. 3rd, she was great but yeah she was the show. I didn't really like this movie, and I'm not sure I met anyone who did.
Meryl Streep for The Iron Lady (2011) Meryl is the best actor/actress in the world and what sucks is she hasn't won an award since 1983 and has only won 2 awards. Which is mind-boggling considering since her last Oscar she's been nominated 12 times. So yes, I don't know much about Margaret Thatcher, from what I read she does a great job of impersonating her, which is great because the movie is worse than fucking paint drying, at least when paint dries something gets accomplished. I am to understand that Thatcher actually led an interesting life, but you can't tell by this movie, this would be like writing a biopic about J Edgar Hoover and having it be miserably boring and that's almost impossible to do.....fuck. I guess I'm front running with her, but whatever, she's the best in her breed and she deserves to win this Oscar...you know if it wasn't for the future Meryl Streep, Michelle Williams.
Michelle Williams for My Week with Marilyn (2011) For me to start a conversation about what could be the best Actress of the last 5 years and the next 20 years with Dawson's Creek is kind of hilariously disgusting. But I fucking knew she was a great actress since back in the day, and I always wanted to way fuck her over Katie Holmes... I'm even embarrassed for typing that. So lets actually discuss the role and movie she was in for the first time in this entire series of posts. This movie without Michelle Williams would be a fucking piece of shit. I guarantee you people thought this role should've gone to Scarlet Johanson because she looks a fuck ton more like Marilyn Monroe than Michelle Williams, but Kate Upton looks a lot more like Monroe than Williams, but she's a shit actress...and so is Johanson. This is movie is about her, and everything plays off her, there is no one else in this movie you even pay attention to. She deserves the Oscar like any player on a shitty team that carries their team to the playoffs deserves the MVP. Its funny how my two best Actress picks are from two really bland movies. But if someone else was cast as Thatcher I think it would still be boring and dry, but if someone else was cast as Monroe the movie would disintegrate into something no one could take seriously, like a step below that Ashley Judd Monroe movie. This movie would be an unnoticed farce of a production and the credibility it was given by Williams is immeasurable. I saw this movie based solely on her being in it.
Friday, February 24, 2012
best fukken actor.
I'm doing best actor first just because I want to. Ladies on top! Actually I just want to post my love for Meryl Streep and it will take more than a day to write it. Again, Ascending order because I like to detract much more than praise.
Demian Bichir, A Better Life Ok if you are in a fantastic movie you pretty much get nominated, its clockwork. What I don't understand is...this movie was fair to luke warm. I guess this is just the nod to the Hispanic plight in America. And I guess like Crash and Slumdog Millionaire I'm supposed to be uproariously moved by it. Buuuuuuuuuuuut I wasn't. Its a good story about the struggle about. It basically was La Bamba without the fun music and if Richie was played by a 30 year old Edward James Olmos, and the hilariously over the top brother was played by 20 Mexicans with face tattoos.
Jean Dujardin, The Artist meh. I mean... I didn't even know he was really the "lead" for parts of the movie. I'm scared the Academy is going to go this way. He's certainly good in it and I love his mustache but he's just in 4th place for me. Which isn't a travesty. I guess this could be summed up with "yeah".
Brad Pitt, Moneyball Oh Brad. I am not a Brad Pitt detractor, not at all. I think he was great and Seven and Fight Club...jesus I am a 28 year old white man. Ok Ok I thought he was great in A River Runs Through it and Legends of the Fall...jesus I am a 28 year old white woman. Ok whatever, I find him charming in the Ocean's 11 12 13 movies and even in Mr and Mrs Smith, I hate his wife but I can compartmentalize that hate and send it elsewhere with no issue. I will see all of this man's work for the rest of my life and I've forgiven him for ruining Inglorious Basterds for me and I look forward to the movie he's making with the guy who directed Chopper. Having said all that, he does an impression... as a baseball fan I know Billy Beane very well, and its a great impression, but Billy Beane kind of...is Brad Pitt he just throws chairs. Brad is a great actor but he rolled out of bed and just fell into the perfect role. I loved him in this movie and I loved this movie. But it goes in the same category for me as Jamie Fox for Ray and Phillip Seymour Hoffman for Capote. A great impression, except unlike those two roles this guy was basically Brad Pitt anyways.
George Clooney, The Descendants Yeah I over the top swoon for George Clooney, and this is one of his best roles. I know I've said this 100 times so I'll address it here, yes, George Clooney is not stretching hard to play this role, its his normal voice no real accent or whatever but acting is not about convincing people you're of a different nationality otherwise people would consider Dominic Moore to be a good actor. And no one does.
Gary Oldman, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy SO I didn't know that Oldman was doing shallow bit roles for the better half of the last decade because he took time off to be a full time dad. I love Oldman, probably the best actor alive, so yes, this is partially a lifetime award from me and yes I'm a miserable uncreative failure for doing so. Oldman played the most complex character and got the most from him. He wins.
Demian Bichir, A Better Life Ok if you are in a fantastic movie you pretty much get nominated, its clockwork. What I don't understand is...this movie was fair to luke warm. I guess this is just the nod to the Hispanic plight in America. And I guess like Crash and Slumdog Millionaire I'm supposed to be uproariously moved by it. Buuuuuuuuuuuut I wasn't. Its a good story about the struggle about. It basically was La Bamba without the fun music and if Richie was played by a 30 year old Edward James Olmos, and the hilariously over the top brother was played by 20 Mexicans with face tattoos.
Jean Dujardin, The Artist meh. I mean... I didn't even know he was really the "lead" for parts of the movie. I'm scared the Academy is going to go this way. He's certainly good in it and I love his mustache but he's just in 4th place for me. Which isn't a travesty. I guess this could be summed up with "yeah".
Brad Pitt, Moneyball Oh Brad. I am not a Brad Pitt detractor, not at all. I think he was great and Seven and Fight Club...jesus I am a 28 year old white man. Ok Ok I thought he was great in A River Runs Through it and Legends of the Fall...jesus I am a 28 year old white woman. Ok whatever, I find him charming in the Ocean's 11 12 13 movies and even in Mr and Mrs Smith, I hate his wife but I can compartmentalize that hate and send it elsewhere with no issue. I will see all of this man's work for the rest of my life and I've forgiven him for ruining Inglorious Basterds for me and I look forward to the movie he's making with the guy who directed Chopper. Having said all that, he does an impression... as a baseball fan I know Billy Beane very well, and its a great impression, but Billy Beane kind of...is Brad Pitt he just throws chairs. Brad is a great actor but he rolled out of bed and just fell into the perfect role. I loved him in this movie and I loved this movie. But it goes in the same category for me as Jamie Fox for Ray and Phillip Seymour Hoffman for Capote. A great impression, except unlike those two roles this guy was basically Brad Pitt anyways.
George Clooney, The Descendants Yeah I over the top swoon for George Clooney, and this is one of his best roles. I know I've said this 100 times so I'll address it here, yes, George Clooney is not stretching hard to play this role, its his normal voice no real accent or whatever but acting is not about convincing people you're of a different nationality otherwise people would consider Dominic Moore to be a good actor. And no one does.
Gary Oldman, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy SO I didn't know that Oldman was doing shallow bit roles for the better half of the last decade because he took time off to be a full time dad. I love Oldman, probably the best actor alive, so yes, this is partially a lifetime award from me and yes I'm a miserable uncreative failure for doing so. Oldman played the most complex character and got the most from him. He wins.
Best supporting Actor
No idea why men are put in front of women, I'm a chauvinist pig and I can even admit acting takes just as much from both people and that the best performer of my lifetime is Meryl Streep.
Kenneth Branagh, My Week With Marilyn Yeah. I don't entirely get this one. I think that the acting in this movie was so strong that someone else had to be nominated. He was good I guess, not entirely sure if he was played by someone else that...wait this guy isn't even her romantic interest? The older guy in the movie? I thought this guy for some reason was Eddie Redmayne, the fuck is this? Jesus this is a fucking stretch. Is this a lifetime achievement nominee for his role as "Britishy guy"?
Max Von Sydow, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close Yeah I don't know, it was sad and all and I wish it didn't happen but...what are we doing here? Tom Hanks was beyond tremendous for all his fleet time and the kid in the movie was tremendous and he deserves the credit Haley Joel Osmit got and didn't deserve from all the years ago. John Goodman was great for his 40 seconds on film as usual and will probably die as the most unrecognized great actor of all time. I typed all that without mentioning Max Von Sydow because...he was just in this movie and I really have no idea why he was nominated over anyone else in it. It was everyone else's movie at one time or another. He deserves as much credit as the old neighbor guy does in Home Alone. I understand his role in the movie is "support" but really he was kind of just...there. I guess he should win an award for guy who reminds me most of Magneto without the powers. I'm not even sure the trailer should say "starring Max Von German" it should say "also with" or "featuring a timely appearance by"
Jonah Hill, Moneyball I will not be making a Jonah Hill fat to skinny post here, so you're welcome. So... Lucky Charms Jonah Hill has my favorite role in this sect of nominees but I honestly can't give it to him. One because I don't want to see Special K Jonah Hill walk across the stage with his lollipop body. And two, he didn't really act. He kind of was just Jonah Hill except with more dryer humor and sincerity with out the one-liners, that I completely loved. I like Jonah Hill. I think he is a good actor. But to say he transformed or delivered this movie in any way different he did anything that was in Cyrus or even Funny People (two movies I really liked) is a stretch. He basically should get credit for his dynamics the way Steven Segal gets credit for his. Steven Segal by the way now is completely out of breath in all his movies, he is winded from just walking and talking, or the production is so low they don't mic him or the scene properly, I shouldn't hear an actor breathe in during an establishing shot. Also all he does now is just take on hordes of unarmed men with karate chops to their necks. Pull the fucking trigger you piss henchmen.
Nick Nolte, Warrior
I thought this was a disney movie, when people took the fighter so seriously last year I saw the preview for this and wanted to eat the floor. But I have to say this was the most surprising movie I saw this year and to me the fulcrum of the movie was Nick Nolte. He was completely believable to the point where I forgot I was watching a movie with Nick Nolte, and to me out of everyone nominated he was the most recognizable. I didn't really fall in love with this movie, but I did Nolte. I hated the idea of this movie(veteran turns underdog mma fighter vs surprise his brother another underdog) and I ended up enjoying it. in my life had this movie come out in 2011 or 2009 I'd say he deserves to win it.
but...
Christopher Plummer, Beginners Ok now I really liked this movie. It was a clever movie about a man dealing with his father coming out of the closet to him and that reminds me of...every other movie like this. However unlike those movies this one also had an element of mortality because the father was dying. So it also was like every movie like that. So it was a clever hybrid movie and Christopher Plummer somehow was as good if not better than Ewan McGregor(lead)a man I consider to be a fine actor. It was a very enjoyable movie and in all honesty Plummer was my favorite part of this movie. McGregor by the way could be Hollywoods most forgotten gem, no idea why he fell out of the top tier of actors in the world. He's been great in just about everything he has been in and I swear if this is because of the fucking Star Wars shit movies I will cry blood. However reading his bio on IMDB him being ranked #36 in Empire (UK) magazine's "The Top 100 Movie Stars of All Time" is a bit over the top. Even for me. And I agree completely with this.
Kenneth Branagh, My Week With Marilyn Yeah. I don't entirely get this one. I think that the acting in this movie was so strong that someone else had to be nominated. He was good I guess, not entirely sure if he was played by someone else that...wait this guy isn't even her romantic interest? The older guy in the movie? I thought this guy for some reason was Eddie Redmayne, the fuck is this? Jesus this is a fucking stretch. Is this a lifetime achievement nominee for his role as "Britishy guy"?
Max Von Sydow, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close Yeah I don't know, it was sad and all and I wish it didn't happen but...what are we doing here? Tom Hanks was beyond tremendous for all his fleet time and the kid in the movie was tremendous and he deserves the credit Haley Joel Osmit got and didn't deserve from all the years ago. John Goodman was great for his 40 seconds on film as usual and will probably die as the most unrecognized great actor of all time. I typed all that without mentioning Max Von Sydow because...he was just in this movie and I really have no idea why he was nominated over anyone else in it. It was everyone else's movie at one time or another. He deserves as much credit as the old neighbor guy does in Home Alone. I understand his role in the movie is "support" but really he was kind of just...there. I guess he should win an award for guy who reminds me most of Magneto without the powers. I'm not even sure the trailer should say "starring Max Von German" it should say "also with" or "featuring a timely appearance by"
Jonah Hill, Moneyball I will not be making a Jonah Hill fat to skinny post here, so you're welcome. So... Lucky Charms Jonah Hill has my favorite role in this sect of nominees but I honestly can't give it to him. One because I don't want to see Special K Jonah Hill walk across the stage with his lollipop body. And two, he didn't really act. He kind of was just Jonah Hill except with more dryer humor and sincerity with out the one-liners, that I completely loved. I like Jonah Hill. I think he is a good actor. But to say he transformed or delivered this movie in any way different he did anything that was in Cyrus or even Funny People (two movies I really liked) is a stretch. He basically should get credit for his dynamics the way Steven Segal gets credit for his. Steven Segal by the way now is completely out of breath in all his movies, he is winded from just walking and talking, or the production is so low they don't mic him or the scene properly, I shouldn't hear an actor breathe in during an establishing shot. Also all he does now is just take on hordes of unarmed men with karate chops to their necks. Pull the fucking trigger you piss henchmen.
Nick Nolte, Warrior
I thought this was a disney movie, when people took the fighter so seriously last year I saw the preview for this and wanted to eat the floor. But I have to say this was the most surprising movie I saw this year and to me the fulcrum of the movie was Nick Nolte. He was completely believable to the point where I forgot I was watching a movie with Nick Nolte, and to me out of everyone nominated he was the most recognizable. I didn't really fall in love with this movie, but I did Nolte. I hated the idea of this movie(veteran turns underdog mma fighter vs surprise his brother another underdog) and I ended up enjoying it. in my life had this movie come out in 2011 or 2009 I'd say he deserves to win it.
but...
Christopher Plummer, Beginners Ok now I really liked this movie. It was a clever movie about a man dealing with his father coming out of the closet to him and that reminds me of...every other movie like this. However unlike those movies this one also had an element of mortality because the father was dying. So it also was like every movie like that. So it was a clever hybrid movie and Christopher Plummer somehow was as good if not better than Ewan McGregor(lead)a man I consider to be a fine actor. It was a very enjoyable movie and in all honesty Plummer was my favorite part of this movie. McGregor by the way could be Hollywoods most forgotten gem, no idea why he fell out of the top tier of actors in the world. He's been great in just about everything he has been in and I swear if this is because of the fucking Star Wars shit movies I will cry blood. However reading his bio on IMDB him being ranked #36 in Empire (UK) magazine's "The Top 100 Movie Stars of All Time" is a bit over the top. Even for me. And I agree completely with this.
Best supporting actress
Well with whatever those things are approaching I figure I should post about them because... I need to kill 2 hours before my friends show up and we go out for nachos.
I only really care about best acting performance and movie, screen play I will try to invest more time in and cinematography and direction should eventually become goals of mine as well. I've seen every movie in question I think and if I didn't I will either pretend I did or discredit site unseen. Also I will be including swipes at everyone I don't like and praise for those I feel who have been snubbed previously.
so here
we
go
Title is in bold, i have them ranked from last to first.
Best Supporting Role by a Human With a Cunt.
no seriously thats what I'm calling it.This is one of the few categories I have no strong feelings for any of the names involved other than based on their performance in their movies, which is how a rational person would look at things, and this blog contains 0 posters with that trait.
Janet McTeer, Albert Nobbs What a dreadful fucking movie, god did this movie suck to sit through. I've seen ant hills less dry than this movie, I'm holding her back because of how bad the movie was Glen Close stunk in this movie it had no levity and really was as heavy as a movie could get, the problem was the substance wasn't there, it was Sophie's Choice over a movie with a minimal arch with 0 importance. It was like sitting through a story from your girlfriend's friend about how hard her life is and what a struggle every day is for her at her insurance job, while you watch a documentary about Darfur.
Octavia Spencer, The Help What a dreadful fucking movie, its been made a million times and I have no idea what separates this woman's performance from any other movie just like it. She was fine in it, certainly wasn't nearly as good as the other woman in it, and I guess if I keep typing this will be seen as racist.
Melissa McCarthy, Bridesmaids What a dreadful fucking movie, I will say this, out of the entire movie the one thing I would consider funny is her role of Megan in this movie. I really don't understand how this movie got as much hype as it did, I guess its the new Hollywood thing to laud middle level attractive women who make graphic sexual jokes, I don't get it. To quote the beyond brilliant Norm Mcdonald on Sarah Silverman..."who's funnier than her, except dudes" Comedies never get the credit they deserve, its a lot harder to be funny than it is to be serious and if someone does a really good job at it they deserve a lot of credit, McCarthy did a pretty good job and deserves some credit.
Jessica Chastain, The Help If she was nominated for Take Shelter, then she should win this award, that was actually a brilliant movie and she had such an important part in the movie and it would fall on the floor and break with out her in it. She also was the one tolerable part of Tree Of Life other than the dinosaur scene which I thought was there for comic relief, oh well, back to Jessica, she had 3 really strong roles this year and if the Oscars gave a best overall work for the consideration time frame she would win the title by far.
Bérénice Bejo, The Artist A lot more on this movie later. Ok, I really liked this movie, and if anyone in this movie deserved an Oscar it is her for her role of name I can't remember dancer lady who legitimately may have the brightest eyes on earth, maybe its praise to the movie and direction there in but at no point did I ever get confused by her intent and emotions while she was on screen. I thought she was great and I hope she launches from this Oscar into more movies where I can actually hear her voice.
I only really care about best acting performance and movie, screen play I will try to invest more time in and cinematography and direction should eventually become goals of mine as well. I've seen every movie in question I think and if I didn't I will either pretend I did or discredit site unseen. Also I will be including swipes at everyone I don't like and praise for those I feel who have been snubbed previously.
so here
we
go
Title is in bold, i have them ranked from last to first.
Best Supporting Role by a Human With a Cunt.
no seriously thats what I'm calling it.This is one of the few categories I have no strong feelings for any of the names involved other than based on their performance in their movies, which is how a rational person would look at things, and this blog contains 0 posters with that trait.
Janet McTeer, Albert Nobbs What a dreadful fucking movie, god did this movie suck to sit through. I've seen ant hills less dry than this movie, I'm holding her back because of how bad the movie was Glen Close stunk in this movie it had no levity and really was as heavy as a movie could get, the problem was the substance wasn't there, it was Sophie's Choice over a movie with a minimal arch with 0 importance. It was like sitting through a story from your girlfriend's friend about how hard her life is and what a struggle every day is for her at her insurance job, while you watch a documentary about Darfur.
Octavia Spencer, The Help What a dreadful fucking movie, its been made a million times and I have no idea what separates this woman's performance from any other movie just like it. She was fine in it, certainly wasn't nearly as good as the other woman in it, and I guess if I keep typing this will be seen as racist.
Melissa McCarthy, Bridesmaids What a dreadful fucking movie, I will say this, out of the entire movie the one thing I would consider funny is her role of Megan in this movie. I really don't understand how this movie got as much hype as it did, I guess its the new Hollywood thing to laud middle level attractive women who make graphic sexual jokes, I don't get it. To quote the beyond brilliant Norm Mcdonald on Sarah Silverman..."who's funnier than her, except dudes" Comedies never get the credit they deserve, its a lot harder to be funny than it is to be serious and if someone does a really good job at it they deserve a lot of credit, McCarthy did a pretty good job and deserves some credit.
Jessica Chastain, The Help If she was nominated for Take Shelter, then she should win this award, that was actually a brilliant movie and she had such an important part in the movie and it would fall on the floor and break with out her in it. She also was the one tolerable part of Tree Of Life other than the dinosaur scene which I thought was there for comic relief, oh well, back to Jessica, she had 3 really strong roles this year and if the Oscars gave a best overall work for the consideration time frame she would win the title by far.
Bérénice Bejo, The Artist A lot more on this movie later. Ok, I really liked this movie, and if anyone in this movie deserved an Oscar it is her for her role of name I can't remember dancer lady who legitimately may have the brightest eyes on earth, maybe its praise to the movie and direction there in but at no point did I ever get confused by her intent and emotions while she was on screen. I thought she was great and I hope she launches from this Oscar into more movies where I can actually hear her voice.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
another walking dead post? well yeah, I just rewatched it for some reason and they literally just had their best show since the first episode and really and I know I beat this show up a lot they really build great suspense for a fantasy show with shallow characters.
until the second half
when they decided to have the Shane argument, and then the Reedus and the mom of the dead kid argument, then the herschel vs 4 different people argument, and the rick and lori argument, and the asian guy and herschel's daughter argument. and the...has anyone seen tdog? and the andrea vs that other guy argument....and after a while i forgot that i was watching a show that is supposed to be an escape from reality and i started to think about what a dick my sister was and how i had an argument with this guy at my work and then next thing I knew, I was watching an episode of Northern Exposure
now I look like a power monger who just wants action, but yes, when you watch an action thriller i want just that. but when i plugged in my waverace 64 game the one thing I know I want is jetski racing. Not a game of the sims, but if I wanted the sims, I'd play a good game put together by capable people who can create a sims game, not waverace's version of sims.
ok fine, the show isn't as bad as I make it out to be, but honestly which one of these isn't a tired cliche that you could completely do with out on this story.
1 love triangle
2 pregnancy/who is the father
3 test of faith
4 grief and guilt
5 you don't know my past/i don't know your past
6 the black guy being in the background as "black guy"
until the second half
when they decided to have the Shane argument, and then the Reedus and the mom of the dead kid argument, then the herschel vs 4 different people argument, and the rick and lori argument, and the asian guy and herschel's daughter argument. and the...has anyone seen tdog? and the andrea vs that other guy argument....and after a while i forgot that i was watching a show that is supposed to be an escape from reality and i started to think about what a dick my sister was and how i had an argument with this guy at my work and then next thing I knew, I was watching an episode of Northern Exposure
now I look like a power monger who just wants action, but yes, when you watch an action thriller i want just that. but when i plugged in my waverace 64 game the one thing I know I want is jetski racing. Not a game of the sims, but if I wanted the sims, I'd play a good game put together by capable people who can create a sims game, not waverace's version of sims.
ok fine, the show isn't as bad as I make it out to be, but honestly which one of these isn't a tired cliche that you could completely do with out on this story.
1 love triangle
2 pregnancy/who is the father
3 test of faith
4 grief and guilt
5 you don't know my past/i don't know your past
6 the black guy being in the background as "black guy"
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Monday, February 13, 2012
the standing around talkng dead again
I question the producers logic on The Walking Dead. Now I'm officially into the show. They did something last night that kind of summed the show up to me.
1) They killed off nobody that matters. I know the little girl is polarizing but honestly who was she? They never spent time on her other than the search. She was virtually carrying no weight when they offed her. It sucked but it was like the X-Men killing off toad. And I understand no show really took out important people but you can't just keep killing extras and expect me to feel anything as a viewer, I'm still decidedly team Shane.
2) Standing around talking with no one really saying anything. Why are they still on this farm? What happened here really? Shane I guess is supposed to be turning to something, but him saying he is going to do stuff and not do it really isn't blowing my mind. Then he kills the barn walkers, and I...agree. Why not do that? That of course brings about Hersh wanting everyone gone....but they don't leave. Even when a character demands the show progress the hangers on still don't. These guys scoff at Darwinsism.
3) New characters introduc...scratch that killed. Unfortunately for the show one of the characters actually brought with him some charisma. And it stuck out because every character on the show has none of it.
It's getting to the point with the show of when they introduce a new character they have a 14 minute life span. I understand you can't kill off everyone but at least have the person around before you do it.
The show still builds fantastic tension, the bar scene was great and full of suspense. Just kind of sucks that the boring guy I don't care about drew first. Just when I thought the show had a permanent addition who was an unwanted lingerer or the perfect addition of a non-walker antagonist. They cap him. Instantly, and what sucks is he was dramatically more interesting than everyone on the farm. You know other than the girl who sucked the asian dude's dick in a general store surrounded by zombies.
Why was the Asian guy there? What purpose did he serve? He could have taken a step out of pacifism by shooting the fat guy, but he really was just decoration. They created the illusion of action by having him be in the background. So basically when they kill him off it will be like "hey he had some camera time in some big scenes" when really all he did was fuck some desperate for cock farmer daughter and be in the background when the 4 real characters did things.
Also let me just go on record as saying this, it really is hard to guess who dies next, which is all I watch the show for. Which isn't really a success. But its something.
1) They killed off nobody that matters. I know the little girl is polarizing but honestly who was she? They never spent time on her other than the search. She was virtually carrying no weight when they offed her. It sucked but it was like the X-Men killing off toad. And I understand no show really took out important people but you can't just keep killing extras and expect me to feel anything as a viewer, I'm still decidedly team Shane.
2) Standing around talking with no one really saying anything. Why are they still on this farm? What happened here really? Shane I guess is supposed to be turning to something, but him saying he is going to do stuff and not do it really isn't blowing my mind. Then he kills the barn walkers, and I...agree. Why not do that? That of course brings about Hersh wanting everyone gone....but they don't leave. Even when a character demands the show progress the hangers on still don't. These guys scoff at Darwinsism.
3) New characters introduc...scratch that killed. Unfortunately for the show one of the characters actually brought with him some charisma. And it stuck out because every character on the show has none of it.
It's getting to the point with the show of when they introduce a new character they have a 14 minute life span. I understand you can't kill off everyone but at least have the person around before you do it.
The show still builds fantastic tension, the bar scene was great and full of suspense. Just kind of sucks that the boring guy I don't care about drew first. Just when I thought the show had a permanent addition who was an unwanted lingerer or the perfect addition of a non-walker antagonist. They cap him. Instantly, and what sucks is he was dramatically more interesting than everyone on the farm. You know other than the girl who sucked the asian dude's dick in a general store surrounded by zombies.
Why was the Asian guy there? What purpose did he serve? He could have taken a step out of pacifism by shooting the fat guy, but he really was just decoration. They created the illusion of action by having him be in the background. So basically when they kill him off it will be like "hey he had some camera time in some big scenes" when really all he did was fuck some desperate for cock farmer daughter and be in the background when the 4 real characters did things.
Also let me just go on record as saying this, it really is hard to guess who dies next, which is all I watch the show for. Which isn't really a success. But its something.
trailer park 2
\
if someone told you this was a tropic thunder/grind house trailer would you not believe it? would you tell them they were wrong?
who finds funding for this horse shit? edgar allen poe hunts vampires in some other movie too.
people are fucking jerk offs.
if someone told you this was a tropic thunder/grind house trailer would you not believe it? would you tell them they were wrong?
who finds funding for this horse shit? edgar allen poe hunts vampires in some other movie too.
people are fucking jerk offs.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
I feel bad for my father being a gigantic Patriots fan, but ultimately the end of football season means the end of the winter to me. And 2 weeks until baseball starts. And ultimately baseball is life coming back to the world. The spring into the summer and eventually winding out in the end of autumn. It is by far the best sport, the best distraction, the best back drop and the best metaphor for life in general.
5 weeks from now the world will exist to everyone.
5 weeks from now the world will exist to everyone.
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