high plains drifter (1973)

So after for a few dollars more, a fistful of dollars, hang em high and the good the bad the ugly(ignoring paint your wagon and two mules for sister sarah for musical and horrible co-star female scene stealing attempts) clint was bar none the best movie star of all timed named clint supplanting clint walker and peter cushing. Going into the early mid 70s any movie with the words "eastwood" and "western" was instant hype and pretty much bankable gold. So when this movie pulled an elephant dick out in the first 5 minutes and never explained it it kind of left you wondering "what the fuck just happened".



HAPPENED

Ok so the movie is just like any of the unnamed series. Blondie stranger rolls into town. Establishes he's a bad ass by murdering petty criminals and bullies and sticks up for the littleman. Except in this movie the littleman is actually a midget, and before you let that ruin the movie for you let me throw this in as a quick detour. The hero of the movie commits aggrevated rape 10 minutes into it.

For those of you who haven't seen this movie you're likely thinking "fuck are you serious?" And for those of you who have you're saying "fuuuck that was odd". Now many of you are thinking well surely there will be resolution to that and you're just wrong. Anyways the town rallies around ol' rapeypants and starts training for a returning gang of ne'erdowells. Many of you will recognize that plot from countless stories (magnificent seven, the three amigos) all of course except the woman clint eastwood angrily raped who is foiled of revenge when a townsman takes a gun from her when she tries to kill him.
Now as for the gang returning. Well they were arrested in the town and want to get revenge on it. You know. Like all criminals who want to kill the cops who arrest them. I never understood this logic. Fires never want to kill the fire fighters that put them out. Oh wait backdraft sucked. So in the first 20 seconds of meeting the gang the movie of course makes you hate them and establishes them as villains byyyyy revealing they were mistreated in prison? Yep. They were made to eat their own horses. For months. Well so far you're 1/3rd into the movie and the biggest assholes in it are.

1 the hero
2 the people he is protecting
3 the jailers

Eventually you're made to dislike the gang but not in the way you'd think. They keep cutting back to them for really worthless character establishing segments. Once they kill some other drifting scumbags, another time they kill a horse. By the time they get to the town you realize all you know about these guys is if this was a little different they'd be the heroes and eastwood would be the villain. The townsmen themselves are rape hiding racist scumbags who treat the poor like animals, at one point I swear one of them was wearing a philadelphia eagles shirt.

At one point during the movie I found myself wishing the whole town burns down with everyone killed and the records don't make it out of the fire.

I submit you could never really like the hero of the movie and with good reason. He steals from the townsmen. Rips their barns down. Takes their goods they sold in their shops and worst of all is accompanied by the midget who I assume is only kept around for comic relief, of which he supplies none. I hate comic relief in movies. I don't need to be bailed out. I've agreed to see your movie stop giving me air when I went into this agreement knowing I had to hold my breath.


clint and comedic death.
I remembered this movie to be a lot more bad ass. But it just was odd and unfunny. Clint is cold(which is expected) but somehow he didn't have anything that made him likable or seem bothered by his past. He had muiltiple flashbacks to a really badly acted torture scene but by the time you figure out his role in it you already hate his guts.

All in all this has to be clint's worst western and it was a shocker that he rebounded so well after with josey and unforgiven(maybe because they didn't have him fucking rape a woman before the credits were done). Clint is on my mt rushmore of acting and it sucks he's so old because he could be one of my favorite directors and I'd love to see him keep going for another 30 years of making movies. He has in himself the best no right answer debate. Clint the actor vs clint the director. Maybe clint isn't the best actor but he is a phenomenal movie star. Now obviously this blog will be a great success and clint will read this so. I love you Clint Eastwood.



Ps at the end of the movie he rapes again. Not kidding. Multiple rapes multiple victims. Hero.