so pitted.

To Die Another Day is on cable. Its fucking disgusting. Brosnan and Halle Berry have the on screen chemistry of two cardboard boxes stacked at a offsetting angles in a musky warehouse. Alas, rather than hammer a shit movie into the ground I'd rather knock a good one.

Brad Pitts acting in Inglorious Basterds missed tongue and cheek campy and just went on to distracting and poor. I can't believe Eli Roth was better at making the jewbear who yelled out about "Teddy Ball Game" and "Fenway Fucken Pahhhhk" seem more believable than Pitt did with a hardened army platoon leader. Pitt's been such a great actor in the past too that this came as a real surprise. I think he has at least, maybe he hasn't, I don't know. Just about everybody in this fuck movie out does Pitt, people I never heard of or saw before make Pitt look like an overdone asshole. The fucking shit from The American Office shines next to him, its not even fair to bring up "The Jew Hunter" in comparison but for fuck sakes the german actress lady and the british agent blow Pitt out of the water. It gets to the point where you begin to resent Tarantino for letting it go on. But then I noticed that in parts it becomes less overbearing and awful.

The first scene when he says he would like to get his nat-zee scalps is fucking piss poor. Its Pierce Brosnan bad, if not worse. It crushes the movie at parts. It just undoes your ability to fall into a movie like in any part of the movie like when a phone number has 555 in it or when a movie has a voice over which is another outdated lazy way of making a movie. If you can't articulate through scenes what you're trying to convey then just fucking don't make movies. However later in the movie the whole act kind of gets watered down a little, I like to think Tarantino had a talk with Pitt. Much like the one he had to have with Travolta, except he asked Pitt to stop sucking on film and HERE COMES A GAY JOKE ABOUT TRAVOLTA. I know movies are seldom filmed chronologically but it seems like the longer the movie went the less and less the accent and diction was a problem.

I realize no one else may share my views on things but its so fucking distracting when you try to accept another reality and someone does something to remind you that you're just looking at light and sound. Brad Pitt kept knocking me out of being able to suspend belief. Now it seems like I'm knocking Pitt but I never watch Daniel Day Lewis movies and go "dude thats fucken ddl" when he's acting. Every time Pitt talked it seemed like I was saying "heres brad again being a dick". When I watched scary movies as a kid my cousin told me "its only a movie they're actors I never get scared" and I wondered what the fuck is the point of watching movies then? If you can defeat the whole point of immersion than why bother watching anything in the fuck first place?! I always thought the whole point of a movie was to get into the idea of a story taking place and you were looking in on it. When you just think "I'm looking at actors doing their job" to me its just worthless. Its almost as unfortunate as Heather Graham's career after she thought that she didn't have to show her tits anymore.

And to answer your question YES I decided to attack Pitt based on his relationship with Clydesdale Jolie. And to answer your other question Swordfish is openly celebrating the repeal on don't ask don't tell. This will make like 8 posts in a row with the Swordfish tag.

Speaking of out of control flying homosexuality.

For those of you who didn't see this Hugh Jackman got hurt while ziplining in to Oprah.

What it doesn't say in this report is that the professionals who set up the rig weren't to blame for the lack of brakes but it was a cruel joke by one of them for saying "theres a big dick at the bottom" Jackman was worked up into a froth and went recklessly down the zipline with no caution in what Oprah producers referred to as "cock fever".

yes i could have worded all that better but its like 2 and i'm fucking spent