Jurassic Park 4 part whaterver

So the team that John Hammond Jr. (Nicolas Cage) assembles has to be pretty thick in numbers and varying fields. Reasoning:



1. This is a massive profit margin they could have so the investors and Ingen would send a gigantic team
2 Its a massive undertaking to do upkeep remodeling heard up dinos start making new ones and protect everyone involved
3 some have to be girls so we can see their stupid tits.
4 All these people have to die in entertaining ways

Before you have any problem with any of these actors don't worry. They're going to die.

So the Hero of my movie is Ian Mckay played by Luke Perry, for those of you who think Luke Perry's career is done and its time to pick someone else I say EXACTLY! Luke Perry is undeniable and is destined to rise to the top again and I want to be the Tarantino to his Travolta. Except not as gay. P.S. Swordfish was so gay it was originally pitched as a sequel to Batman Forever.

Anyways Ian along with his dad Dylan. Get it? Dylan Mckay? Luke's name in 90210? The least clever reference ever? YES! Anyway Ian is an animal wrangler in Texas and he will be deemed to be the leader of taking over the emancipated animals and re-caging them. Kind of like the GOP.(get it?) ooof. Moving on, Ian obviously is over his head but since they don't have a lot of people trained in dinosaur breaking and wrangling, we'll suspend disbelief for the time being. And later when he kills a raptor with plasma cutter.

Leading. Man.

Also I'm finding roles for Brian Austin Greene and Ian Ziering.


Anyways every popcorn movie needs a woman supporting actor to wisecrack and challenge gender stereotypes when she can stand up for herself, kind of like how Michelle Rodriguez has over done through out her filmography which has to be amidst its death rattle. So through out my life I've casted the female role of the animal expert "Dr. Sue Aulogeus" a thousand different times. Tiffani-Amber Theisen being the first and most logical. But alas I assume she died in a car accident years ago. Taking with her other hopefulls for this role Rose Mcgowan, Neve Campbell, Shannen Doherty, Katie Holmes, Susan Ward, Fat Jennifer Love Hewitt, Eliza Dushku, Jenna Haze, Alyssa Milano and the one that hurt the most Shannyn Sossamon.

I miss you, please come back.

So with modern day movies and pop culture all thats left is whoever was in Twilight that I couldn't name, whoever Blake Lively is, and Scarlett Johansson who is an atrocious actress who's salary would be waaaay too much for a movie where I'm already paying Nicolas Cage AND Luke Perry and with two A list actors we could have an obscure woman in the movie So with that being said I'd like to resurrect a career that I personally fear is 90% dead in Rosario Dawson. All the above mentioned were people I thought would be around forever, and slowly every single one of their careers exploded into nothingness and I'm out and out shocked they are nowhere to be seen anymore. Occasionally I'll see their name in the summary under

Along with the lead in Ian and the supporting woman with Rosario there has to be a comedic element, now usually I despise comedic relief but this movie needs it because to draw people into a fantasy dinosaur movie and have them obliterated immediately by heavy messages and animal rape and everything crazy and violent the people in the audience will need a laugh. So I'm casting Dave Attell as Dr. Paul Lentaligist. Attell to me is the second funniest human being alive and I would want his first take every time he delivered a line, I'd also demand he ad-lib constantly and give me tips on how to make the movie better. I'm prepared to make a movie with Attell as my Brando.

Paul could play the role of constantly hitting on Sue and making the situation unprofessional. Peaking in a scene where he pulls his dick out and asks her "the deliciousaurus got out of its cage". Here's part of the only dialogue I've settled on lately.


Paul Lentaligist: I'm Paul
Sue Aulogeus: I met you last year at a conference
P: oh I'm sorry I've met so many people over the past couple years I can't remember anyone
S: yeah you were shelling your book
P: which one I have 4 best sellers. Have you ever read one?
S: no I don't read fiction
P: Ouch, that was mean, who's that? *pointing to picture of old man sue just pulled out of her bag*
S: my father
P: *takes picture from her*
*crumbles it up*
*throws it at her*
S: GASP!
P:4 BEST SELLERS YOU SLOB!
*walks off*
S: *cries uncontrollably*


I should spend more time on this. It seems too fucking amazing to not make.

oh wait I brought up Scarlet Johansson so I'm justified in posting this.