Best Movie

Hugo Haven't seen it but it seems to me to be a tribute to the great old movies that everyone seems to have forgotten about and the wonder of losing yourself in the beauty of cinema, so I give it an F, for fuck this movie.


The Tree of Life HAHAHAHAHAHA

War Horse This will be the first of two movies where I think the director has just lost his fastball and is now being nominated based solely on name recognition, the difference being I think that Woody Allen deserves to be nominated on his name and Spielberg needs to take a nice long walk and think about his last few movies and the effect they've had on the world and wonder how long he has been an irrelevant boring old man who can't tell a story anymore. Spielberg directed some of my most favorite movies, and my most favorite movie, and over the last few years really has done nothing anyone should make it a point to see, and this Disney movie is no exception, its an animal movie with a war torn country side spin. It goes for the cheap emotional moves over and over and I mean if this movie was directed by the guy who did the Chronicle of Narnia movies I'm convinced it wouldn't even have been submitted to the academy for consideration.

The Help What a dreadful fucking movie. Its a new Driving Miss Daisy. I don't know, maybe I'm just a miserable bigot but I know when a movie is done well its great, and when its not it just feels like an after school special. I understand there is a plight and all but when you do a movie that relies on the struggle of the race to be the emotional and its just kind of doing what every other movie like it does, with no real exception. So yeah, its no worse than the worst of those movies, but its certainly not better than the best of them. I guess overwrought would be my word to describe this movie. Its Forrest Gump, its saccharine, its just whatever. This is the best movie made for moms and 14 year old girls ever.

Midnight in Paris
I love Woody Allen but if anyone else directed this movie no one would ever have nominated this movie, its no better than Weekend With Marilyn and honestly is just another bad later day Woody Allen movie, and it sucks to say it but whatever, I'm not one of those assholes who thinks he has to make another Manhattan for me to take him seriously but this is the discussion for best picture and this movie does not belong here. Owen Wilson has been slammed by everyone for his job in this movie and no one else makes up for him.

Moneyball I didn't enjoy any other nominated movie like I did Moneyball. I guess I'm just holding it back because it was a baseball movie about 2 characters with out any real conflict and the transition happened in the first 7 minutes of the movie, it was basically like if Ghostbusters started and before the credits ended they had a firehouse and particle accelerators. And there was nothing to wait for really, I guess I'm just scaling it back because I know it wasn't the best movie, and I just absolutely love Brad Pitt and baseball and the book by Michael Lewis on which this is based on.

The Artist I liked this movie a lot, and I remember watching it and thinking, there is no fucking way I'm going to let people call this movie overrated. Then it started to clean up award shows and people are calling it the front runner for the Oscar, and now I have to say it, slow down. It was a gorgeous movie, definitely deserves it for direction and cinematography. The move was an absolute joy to sit through. But it just was that, a great experience to sit through, I am hesitant to call it the best movie because it really wasn't. I don't think it was better than Moneyball or Extremly Loud & Incredibly Close, I just think in 5 years more people will remember this movie as important than those two.


Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close Yeah this movie was fucking sad. And not cheap sad like Warhorse, I don't know what Sandra Bullock and this kid did wrong to not get nominations, the movie was basically spent on their shoulders after Hanks left in the beginning and scarce flashbacks through out. I had no idea that Bullock could act, I thought she was marginal in The Blind Side, and I would clearly say this role is significantly better. She dies in this movie but stays on screen alive after her husband is killed, I actually see the grief in her that I see in people I know personally who have had spouses die. The movie around her is terrific, the kid in this movie had the performance that I'm convinced would rocket him into fame like every other kid had after a role like this. This movie was what Pay it Forward thought it was going to be. I've read depth reviews from actual humans who understand movies and they say the cinematography and direction on this movie was not tremendous, but I mean, even if it was as bad as any George Lucas movie, I didn't notice it, but I don't notice that shit.

The Descendants I don't know, I do not believe in this pick like I thought I would when I ranked these over the last week. I just don't want to pick The Artist, and I know Moneyball won't win it was either this and I don't want to pick the movie I saw yesterday in Extremely Close. So yeah heres me pussying out and picking the movie I think had the best script. Can anyone explain to me how the other other maid from The Help got nominated over Clooney's daughter in this movie? I guess it wasn't hard to make this movie beautiful, you could frame a movie anywhere in Hawaii and get either the ocean, a mountain or a sunset and it would look gorgeous. Its like where they shot the movie Shane or The Ox-Bow incident. Just film somewhere gorgeous and people will think you did a tremendous job. I liked this movie a great deal, and the story was brilliant and no one in it did anything less than a very good job. I think Clooney deserves a serious look at for actor and I think Payne deserves the Oscar for screenplay and directing, but I have a loose grip on writing credits and none on directing, I can just figure out when the movie looks like piss, and this movie was the opposite. The directing Oscar should be his for no other reason than him being snubbed for About Schmidt and honestly for Sideways too. Both movies better than the movies that won it (Million Dollar Baby and Chicago)


Eventually I'm going to make my top 10, why did this movie win over these movies list, but I can just spoil it now, Forest Gump, Chicago, Crash, and Braveheart are all paper champs.

best ho

Glenn Close for Albert Nobbs (2011)
What a dreadful fucking movie this was. Stop it. Fuck you for even being here. Considering it didn't get nominated this will be my last time to bash this movie so I am going to take it. To act like anyone in this movie did anything worthy of any nomination is fucking absurd. This movie was so fucking dull, the supporting actress is the one who really went through a tough time, Albert is just an inconspicuous boring fop of a person who cross dressed to get a job. Close was good and all but moping is not a fucking class of acting, this basically was The Man Who Wasn't There except with a gender role spin. I guess this is the academy's nod to the gender issue crisis that some people have, but again, a woman pretending to be a man to be a fucking waiter is seriously more boring than it sounds.


Viola Davis for The Help (2011)
What a dreadful fucking movie this was. Was she even the lead? I though Zombieland girl was. Even so she played one of the two maids... I guess she was the more featured of the maids but... its a shitty movie. She was just the whatever lady in it, its a new Driving Miss Daisy, I don't know, maybe I'm just a miserable bigot but I know when a movie is done well its great, and when its not it just feels like an after school special. I also don't get how she qualifies as a best actress but Berenice Bejo doesn't? Anyone care to explain this to me? Berenice had WAY more screen time in her role and was infinitely better.

Rooney Mara for The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011) So yeah, She was the best part of this movie, I can't believe how good of an actor Bond 5.0 is and yeah this is where she should be. 3rd, she was great but yeah she was the show. I didn't really like this movie, and I'm not sure I met anyone who did.

Meryl Streep for The Iron Lady (2011) Meryl is the best actor/actress in the world and what sucks is she hasn't won an award since 1983 and has only won 2 awards. Which is mind-boggling considering since her last Oscar she's been nominated 12 times. So yes, I don't know much about Margaret Thatcher, from what I read she does a great job of impersonating her, which is great because the movie is worse than fucking paint drying, at least when paint dries something gets accomplished. I am to understand that Thatcher actually led an interesting life, but you can't tell by this movie, this would be like writing a biopic about J Edgar Hoover and having it be miserably boring and that's almost impossible to do.....fuck. I guess I'm front running with her, but whatever, she's the best in her breed and she deserves to win this Oscar...you know if it wasn't for the future Meryl Streep, Michelle Williams.

Michelle Williams for My Week with Marilyn (2011) For me to start a conversation about what could be the best Actress of the last 5 years and the next 20 years with Dawson's Creek is kind of hilariously disgusting. But I fucking knew she was a great actress since back in the day, and I always wanted to way fuck her over Katie Holmes... I'm even embarrassed for typing that. So lets actually discuss the role and movie she was in for the first time in this entire series of posts. This movie without Michelle Williams would be a fucking piece of shit. I guarantee you people thought this role should've gone to Scarlet Johanson because she looks a fuck ton more like Marilyn Monroe than Michelle Williams, but Kate Upton looks a lot more like Monroe than Williams, but she's a shit actress...and so is Johanson. This is movie is about her, and everything plays off her, there is no one else in this movie you even pay attention to. She deserves the Oscar like any player on a shitty team that carries their team to the playoffs deserves the MVP. Its funny how my two best Actress picks are from two really bland movies. But if someone else was cast as Thatcher I think it would still be boring and dry, but if someone else was cast as Monroe the movie would disintegrate into something no one could take seriously, like a step below that Ashley Judd Monroe movie. This movie would be an unnoticed farce of a production and the credibility it was given by Williams is immeasurable. I saw this movie based solely on her being in it.

Best supporting actress

Well with whatever those things are approaching I figure I should post about them because... I need to kill 2 hours before my friends show up and we go out for nachos.

I only really care about best acting performance and movie, screen play I will try to invest more time in and cinematography and direction should eventually become goals of mine as well. I've seen every movie in question I think and if I didn't I will either pretend I did or discredit site unseen. Also I will be including swipes at everyone I don't like and praise for those I feel who have been snubbed previously.
so here
we
go

Title is in bold, i have them ranked from last to first.

Best Supporting Role by a Human With a Cunt.
no seriously thats what I'm calling it.This is one of the few categories I have no strong feelings for any of the names involved other than based on their performance in their movies, which is how a rational person would look at things, and this blog contains 0 posters with that trait.

Janet McTeer, Albert Nobbs What a dreadful fucking movie, god did this movie suck to sit through. I've seen ant hills less dry than this movie, I'm holding her back because of how bad the movie was Glen Close stunk in this movie it had no levity and really was as heavy as a movie could get, the problem was the substance wasn't there, it was Sophie's Choice over a movie with a minimal arch with 0 importance. It was like sitting through a story from your girlfriend's friend about how hard her life is and what a struggle every day is for her at her insurance job, while you watch a documentary about Darfur.

Octavia Spencer, The Help What a dreadful fucking movie, its been made a million times and I have no idea what separates this woman's performance from any other movie just like it. She was fine in it, certainly wasn't nearly as good as the other woman in it, and I guess if I keep typing this will be seen as racist.

Melissa McCarthy, Bridesmaids What a dreadful fucking movie, I will say this, out of the entire movie the one thing I would consider funny is her role of Megan in this movie. I really don't understand how this movie got as much hype as it did, I guess its the new Hollywood thing to laud middle level attractive women who make graphic sexual jokes, I don't get it. To quote the beyond brilliant Norm Mcdonald on Sarah Silverman..."who's funnier than her, except dudes" Comedies never get the credit they deserve, its a lot harder to be funny than it is to be serious and if someone does a really good job at it they deserve a lot of credit, McCarthy did a pretty good job and deserves some credit.

Jessica Chastain, The Help If she was nominated for Take Shelter, then she should win this award, that was actually a brilliant movie and she had such an important part in the movie and it would fall on the floor and break with out her in it. She also was the one tolerable part of Tree Of Life other than the dinosaur scene which I thought was there for comic relief, oh well, back to Jessica, she had 3 really strong roles this year and if the Oscars gave a best overall work for the consideration time frame she would win the title by far.

Bérénice Bejo, The Artist A lot more on this movie later. Ok, I really liked this movie, and if anyone in this movie deserved an Oscar it is her for her role of name I can't remember dancer lady who legitimately may have the brightest eyes on earth, maybe its praise to the movie and direction there in but at no point did I ever get confused by her intent and emotions while she was on screen. I thought she was great and I hope she launches from this Oscar into more movies where I can actually hear her voice.