Spartacus Blood and Sand.

Spartacus.

What is worse? The acting? The horrendous CGI? Lucy Lawless? Still? One of the senators sounds like he's from Long Island. Accents switch from scene to scene Australian, British, American, someone just sounds like he's trying to talk like Morpheus from the Matrix. A dialog diction coach would cost like 2 grand for 4 weeks of training with the actors, how the fuck did this go? Was the word "fuck" even around then? Would people use it like they do on this show? They use the term "fucking" a lot. That can't be more than 100 years old.

I can't believe this show gets by on awful fake gore and tits. It's a lot of tits but open any website and you'll find tits and you won't have to sit through an hour of hilariously bad acting with it. Ok this girl has an angel tattoo on her shoulder with a fucking halo. What the fuck is this? it's disturbing to think that just about every sex scene in this movie likely would have resulted in a child. Did Romans pull out? I mean this one blatantly looks like this guy blasted in this slave girl. Jesus. Blood and Creampies.

The CGI is used to replace set building. No arena which is ok I guess...that would be expensive to recreate, but it really is scyfy channel quality computer graphics. They couldn't scout a location for this show? Was this just all filmed on set? This show cost 80 grand a season to make and 50k of it was spent on corn syrup and Lucy Lawless. Haha this girl has an eyebrow piercing scar. Who did quality control on this show? I keep waiting for a plane to fly over head or a cell phone to go off.

Lucy Lawless tits really? She just said cock. This show really exists? Didn't the lead actor die? This show had to keep going? This movie is a giant octopus away from being on the scyfy channel. I know I just referenced the Scyfy network, this can't be my last though. That's like 5 "fucking"s already. People are already doing this? Are you guys sure the term "fucking" was around back then? Why am I so hung up on this.....Wait is that the guy from the fucking Mummy?

Jesus. This show has 90s music video quality sets. They add columns to a normal room like it suddenly legitimizes it as a roman empire setting. Holy shit this lady just screamed a guys name and it came out of my surround sound back left speaker. Scared the fucking shit out of me. Who mixed this fucking thing?

Ok I think I recognize this lady from Mortal Kombat Annihilation. Hair gel back then huh? God there is a lot of fruit on this show. Fruit and and togas. If you took away the fruit and togas this show be void of any atmosphere. The ladies clothing is kind of shocking. Every girl either has cleavage or side cleavage who is producing this show Larry Flint? They just showed a reaction shot of a peasant citizen of whatever this city is and they showed all of her cleavage and literally cut off her hairline. What the fuck? This is worse than a George Lucas movie.

Girl on girl now. Which does nothing for me. I watch two girls go at it and I think I bet they're both going to complain any second now. I'm not sure they should even be showing this at 10pm now. It's fucking shocking really. I use fuck less than these guys. Why is Lucy Lawless naked? Why did I think she wouldn't get naked? So much swearing it's like a kid on Xbox live wrote this. Wow. Sex grunts? Really? We can't play music over this? Haha this is softcore I just saw flaccid shadow dick.

This lady has a great English accent. She might even be English. Sucks she is talking to a guy doing a Crocodile Dundee impression. Haha they're praising a villa for its flowing marble tile and it's a laminate floor cover you can get at the Home Depot. Don't draw attention to the floor for its high quality if its cut with a razorblade. The fucking walls are drywall, I'm not even sure they painted them. They just put pillars around to legitimize it but it just looks like an Italian guy's back yard.

Lucy Lawless does look better in red hair. Her eyebrows being black makes it funnier. She actually looks pretty decent. Lucy Lawless has nice tits? Really? Did not see that coming. When you google "Lucy Lawless tits" they have hilarious fake nudes. Remember fake nudes? Black guy slave in the background has a tattoo and a horrendous midsection. Did they cast this role or did they just grab a guy off the street?

Oh good bullet time slow mode, that completely legitimizes this now. This show is about as bad as acting can get they use more fake blood than WCW. I'm actually thinking there isn't enough sand for this to be called blood and sand.

Oh I guess this is the last episode. Thank god.